The Peaceful Home

Episode 29: The Journey to a Happier You with Saira Valley

May 20, 2022 Pamela Godbois
The Peaceful Home
Episode 29: The Journey to a Happier You with Saira Valley
Show Notes Transcript

“And so I think it's important to remember that you can bring good things into your life by constantly knowing that you are worth those good things, that you are deserving of those good things, and that you can achieve those good things.”


In this week's episode, I sat down with mom of 3, boutique owner and business coach Saira Valley.  Saira is a deep believer in the power of mindset, she embraces an anti-hustle mentality and knows that real success comes from building community. Saira shares both her philosophy and practices for creating an aligned business and a joy-filled life. 


Saira’s career started by accident, “I got a temp job at a hospital and just gave it my all. this caught the attention of the manager and he gave me my first career opportunity. From there I just took opportunities as they arose and worked hard to eventually become one of the youngest directors at a Harvard Hospital, and then went on to be a COO of a biotech company at 34. I LOVED my work, but I was tired of spending so much time away from my family, so I decided to leave behind the stability of corporate work, and pursue my own business dreams! I am now 6 years into independence!”


If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device and post it to your Instagram Stories and tag us, @pamgodboiscoaching and @sairavalley.


In this episode you’ll hear:

  • Saira shares her secret for finding success as an entrepreneur and how mindset plays a major role. 
  • The power of community, support, and believing in yourself.
  • Saira shares her journey from growing up in Pakistan, to the loss of her mom and its impact on what she is doing now. 
  • Saira shares her go-to practices for doing her own inner work and getting healthy in body, mind & spirit. 
  • How to use intention setting and mindset to achieve your goals and dreams. 



LINKS:

Saira’s Website: https://shinewithsaira.com

Saira’s Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1683011801809361

Saira’s Facebook



Connect with me:  Instagram, Facebook, and Tiktok


If you’re like “I love listening to Pam chat with guests.” Then head over and write a review! We really appreciate your support and it helps us to keep growing!!  https://pamgodbois.com/ApplePodcast Thank you so much for listening to this week’s episode. Be sure to tune in next week.



The best thing you can do for yourself and your kids is effectively regulate your nervous system. And a great place to start >> to wire the brain for gratitude. Research tells us that gratitude increases happiness and a peaceful mindset. Make the shift and watch how things in your life start to change. Sign up today! www.pamgodbois.com/gratitude

This week on the out of your mind podcast, I had the chance to sit down with my friend Syrah valley. So it is a mom of three. She's a boutique owner and my go-to person for fashion. And she's also a coach. As someone who has transformed her entire life and on a daily basis is inspiring others to do the same. Syrah shares her favorite tips and strategies for shifting your mindset, taking care of yourself and leaning into all that as possible. So if you're trying to figure out your path and maybe you're needing a little support this is the episode for you Let's dive in.

Pam:

Perfect. Yay, Saira. I'm so excited to have you on the podcast today.

Saira:

Thank you for having me. Yeah. I feel like we've done this. I'm like, just come on. I need you. Well, this is my very first podcast. I've done lots of where I've talked to people and, done trainings and coachings, but this is my first official podcast. So thanks for the invite. Yay. I'm so

Pam:

excited. I'm so excited to have you here. So as we talked about before we got on this podcast was born out of a place of one, like connecting and I love you. So I was like, I definitely need to have siren on the podcast because I miss her. And. Uh, secondly, I feel like our stories as entrepreneurs are so powerful for other people that are starting out or that are, would love to become an entrepreneur, but think oh, I've got all these things. So I definitely can't do this. Which is, the kind of the underlying is what I do is help people see that anything is possible. Absolutely. That's my jam right there. So I would love for you to share with us your story. How did you become an entrepreneur? What that.

Saira:

Uh, so, I kind of fell into my career in healthcare administration. It was totally by accident, but I think it's kind of a thread in my life, which is when opportunity presents itself, you just take it don't think too much about it. Just take it. And so I I started out. Health care administration as a 19 year old, that was attempt. And my parents kind of raised me to always just do the best you can at whatever job you do, whether you're cleaning toilets or whether you're. Doing financial analytics, whatever it is, just show up and give it your all right. And I was very fortunate that the guy who was the boss there kind of saw me and said, and Manasseh my sister and said, wow, you guys do know you really have a lot of potential. And you're really driven. And I want to give you an opportunity. I had no college degree at the time. I was just. I was an uppity teenager. He just kind of believed in me and gave me an opportunity. And I think that really was the first time in a professional environment where someone looked at me and said, I believe in you. And I know that you can do great things. So then my mother died when I was in my twenties and I was like, wow, this sucks. You know, like just kind of gut punch and your whole world goes upside down. And even though I think we know. Our parents will die before we do. It's kind of the natural order of things. Like you're just never prepared for it. The grief and the kind of like we talked about with your own health is it's like that huge wake up call, it's like, what do I want my life to be? So I reinvented my life. I broke up with my then boyfriend and changed my job and kind of, but again, that was really just believing in myself that I could do it, that I just had to kind of keep going. And that kind of, sort of has been the theme of my whole life is just, something will awaken in me and I just have to trust myself and go with it. So when I was in my mid thirties, I had become the chief operating officer to biotech company. It was kind of like the biggest achievement I'd ever had professionally. I was really proud of what I had done. I was really good at my job. But I just felt like I had three kids at home. And my life had become about commuting and my life had become about building somebody else's dream. And I just didn't know that's what I wanted for my reality. Right. I didn't want to wake up at 50 and be like, wow, I live my life for someone else's dream. And so I just took a chance on myself and I said, you know what? I can't do this anymore. I need to build something of my own. And actually I started in direct sales. So I started out selling. And I just was, I just did what my parents taught me, but I just went all in and I I really believed in myself and what I was doing and I helped a lot of women, I really did. I helped them. We had one of the fastest growing teams in the industry and it was I had phone calls from the company asking me, like, how are you doing this? And I was like, I'm teaching people how to build a business, parties. It's about connecting with people. And it's about treating your business like a business, like having your spreadsheets and tracking your sales and all those other things. And, it was great while it lasted. And I did a lot of coaching there. I spoke at their leadership in front of 15 to 20,000 people and I loved it while it was good. And then it wasn't, but what we've talked about, it really took kind of the Boulder falling out of the sky on my head for me to realize that phase of life was over and I needed to move into something else. And I think that's a really important thing for entrepreneurs to know is that it's okay for your business to change. It's okay for you to get to a place where you're like, wow, you know what? I don't think this is really working for me anymore. And I think it's time for me to take my skills and transfer them into a different. Where I'm going to feel more fulfilled or feel more appreciated or feel happier. And so that was a really hard transition for me. I went into a terrible depression. I mean, it was probably the worst place I've been into my whole life because I felt like my whole identity was wrapped. It was just myself in the face. And it was my whole identity was wrapped up in this in this little row business. And it was a hard separation. Like I was heartbroken about it. But then it was time to re be reborn, I had to find something else to do. And so I started my own boutique business and just really was successful with that and found a lot of new ways to help people through coaching and. Mindset management and really having mindset, hygiene, which I think is so important. And, I, I feel like that's the cause I'm really passionate about and, uh, working with my sister on, doing coaching and helping people come into their own in their. And finding their authentic voice in their business and not feeling the need to be a photocopy of everybody else. So, and I think so I think entrepreneurship is awesome. It's a wonderful thing. You have a lot of freedom, but on the flip side, it's also very scary, because you literally are a hunter, you eat what you kill every single day. And I think it does require that self-confidence where you just believe that even, I've been watching these documentaries with my youngest daughter about Walt Disney. And if you hear his story, it's really just, have you ever heard Walt Disney story? Have you ever read about it? I mean, this guy, when he wanted to build Disneyland was basically told no. By the universe, by the investors, by everybody. And this guy was like, I'm not taking no for an answer, but every time he failed, it was just another step towards the success point and time and place that was going to just set him up for the perfect, for the perfect next step. Yeah. He had to go through all of those iterations to get there. And I think that he believes in himself and his idea so much that it didn't matter who said no, he was going to find a way to get there. And I think that's really something that an entrepreneur needs. Rock solid belief that every step where you fail is not a failure. It's just another step towards that success, right. That it has to happen this way, but it takes a certain kind of self confidence and faith in yourself to, I think, evolve with the process. You know what I mean? Yeah.

Pam:

So you were talking about like, when. When the Boulder land on your head about the whole Lula roofing and having to kind of go through this period of grieving and and depressed, and you were experiencing depression. And how did you make that shift? How did you, because it's great to say like for all of us, we're like, oh yeah, I had this thing. I had this dark time and then I came out over here I am. Now, how did you get through that dark time? What were the things that,

Saira:

that worked for. Oh, it sucked so bad and it sucked. It's, that is a really good question. I think number one is good support. Like my in-laws are wonderful people and, they were so supportive, whether it was just constantly reminding us that cause they're entrepreneurs themselves. And so constantly reminding us, that this is just part of the journey, that Yeah, there's going to be ops and there's going to be downs. And when you're in a valley, there is a peak ahead, right? The peak doesn't exist without the valley. It just doesn't right. Everything is about texture and context with something else. So that was really helpful. My husband is wonderful. Like he's so supportive. It actually, I really had to look at how I was spending money too, because I think one of the big things is entrepreneurs feel like they're always need to earn more money, right. I need to make more money to make more. And I kind of looked at it differently and said, I need to spend less. And I think you always have control over where you spend your money, right. And really forcing yourself to look at the numbers and say, where can I be more fiscally conservative so that I don't feel the pressure to earn this. I don't need to make X amount of money in order to be happy because maybe I just have a lot of waste, you know what, maybe I can cut that waste out. So I think that was a big thing that we did is really looking at. How to add control back into our life, because when you're feeling like you're out of control, because you're making big changes, how do you exercise that control? Where can you exert that pressure where it's going to give you the maximum return? So for us, it was really getting support from our family, leaning on each other, being innovative and coming up with ideas, talking about our business and not being afraid to judge it and say, what can we cut? What isn't working, what is working. Looking at our personal finances and really saying, where are we wasting? Where are we spending money that we don't need to spend? And we cut 70% of our budget and it was honestly painful, but now, like I need a quarter of what I used to need to live. And it's amazing because they don't have that pressure, where it's like now when I have extra, I get to go on a nice vacation or I get to buy a new car or, I use that money for something else as opposed to, oh, let's eat out, which is so transient. Reading good books, kitchen table wisdom is one of my all-time favorite books. I recommend it to every single person on the planet, because it's just, it's a great book that teaches you about finding strengths through difficult circumstances and how so much incredible growth happens in us when we're tested and pushed to that limit, really believing in the law of attraction. We become the story we tell ourselves. And so when we're in those dark places, if we just continue that story over and over again, my life sucks. There's nothing I can do about it. I'm depressed. The more we say those things to ourselves, the more that becomes the reality. And so I think it's important to remember that you can bring good things into your life by. Constantly knowing that you are worth those good things, that you are deserving of those good things and that you can achieve those good things. But you just have to, if we, if you don't have a good narrative in your life, you can't expect the good narrative to happen. Right. So I think all of those things, it's all mindset work. And a lot of people think that's all woo bullshit. And I'm like, it's not, it's powerful stuff and you have to pay for it. You can't bring to life that what you don't mind. Right. Yes. You have to be able to see it. And I think that was the biggest thing for me is shifting my mindset.

Pam:

So when you say mindset, which, you know, I'm on the same page, when it comes to mindset, what is the, how do you do that work? How did you do that work? What was the, or the strategies. What did that work look like for you to shift your mindset out of that? The old stories?

Saira:

Gosh, there, that is such a good question because I think so many people are prisoners to the stories that we tell ourselves and the stories we've allowed ourselves to believe that other people have told us about ourselves. The first step is actually walking, finding some kind of physical activity that is cleansing, whether it's yoga or walking, or, but I personally am a big believer in doing it outside. I think connecting with nature has a tremendous power. First of all, the sun is great. Yeah. And that being outside, walking not only helped me physically lose weight, which I needed to do, I had gained a lot of weight. And I had physical signs of burnout, like adrenal burnout and like my thyroid wasn't working and it was awful. But getting outside and walking it kind of grounded me. And I think every time I went out and I would feel the silence. Around me. And I would feel nature around me and the fresh air and the sunlight. I was reminded that I was part of something greater than a dollar bill. And I read actually a post by somebody that said, there's no greater antidepressant than stability with money. And it's really true when people aren't earning what they need to live and they feel like they're struggling financially. It can be, it's hard. It's really hard to find peace, but I was able to do that because when I went outside and I would walk, I was reminded that there was something so much more tender and something so much more meaningful in life than just being governed by. Economics. And I think once I liberated myself a little bit from that quantifier and that qualifier of life, that my, my quality of life is tied to my income. It was strange. I actually started to do better financially, emotionally, all of those things improved when I stopped judging the quality of my life by the quantity of my money. You know what I mean? So that was a huge shift for me is is just getting outside and allowing myself to be in nature. I think the other thing was really not feeling like ending one chapter and starting another was an admission of failure because I think that entrepreneurs are really well. Maybe even entrepreneurs were programmed to think that if we leave something, for whatever reason we fail. And it's not failure, making a choice for yourself because you're not happy anymore is a huge win. Like it's a success actually. And so I think that changing my changing my mindset around that shift in my life from failure to choice that I wasn't, it wasn't circumstance that happened to me. It was a decision I made. And it was an empowering decision. It reminded me that we have. Tremendous freewill. And sometimes exercise in that free will is ending a relationship with another person because it's not healthy for you, or it's ending a profession because it's not healthy for you. But those decisions are not indications of failure. They are an exercise of individual power. And I think that was a huge. Ah-ha moment for me. So I think that was I really, but you have to also really feel like you deserve that credit. And I think a lot of people are very humble and they just don't want to seem, they don't want to inadvertently make their power seem pompous and it's not it's really reclaiming. Whatever you think is going to make you happy. And sometimes you don't know what that next thing is. Sometimes you just know that what this is not it. Right. So you're kind of jumping into the void and just hoping the law of attraction is going to work in your favor. And you'll come to see what's next. So I think that's kinda how I got there.

Pam:

Yeah. And being, it sounds like allowing yourself

Saira:

to be curious,

Pam:

allowing yourself to go. Hm, there's something beyond this, like this isn't the end. I do think there's a lot of value. You said your your husband, your in-laws are entrepreneurs. And I think having people in your life, whether it's family or whether it's friends or whether it's, uh, people that you meet through networking connections or whatever, I think having other like-minded. If you want to be an entrepreneur, speaking of mindset, right? You want to be an entrepreneur. You can't go to your friend that works at a bank and is like the most important thing in life is stability. And the amount of money you have in your investment and retirement accounts, if you want to be an entrepreneur, because that is never going to support your foreign growth and movement, right? So who you surround yourself

Saira:

with? Yeah. I mean, I grew up in Pakistan and, over there, when, I grew up there in the eighties and you were either as a woman going to be a teacher, a doctor, a lawyer, or an engineer, right. That those were the paths that were predetermined for you, or you're going to be a wife and your, your husband was going to take care of you. That was kind of the predetermined path. If you were a woman. And my dad was just, that was just not who he was, and I credit my parents for creating in us. Such a deep sense of love for stories, for art, for creativity, because especially in an environment where that was not what you did. And I remember the first time I wanted to be an actor. I remember the first time I told him my father, I wanted to be an actress. And his response to me was, and this is a Pakistani man. He's not half American. He's full Pakistani, he's Muslim. And his response to me was. That's what you should do. Never. He never did I ever go to my father or my mother and say, oh, I want to do something. And their response was, Ooh, well, I don't know if that's a good idea. Let me give you all of the reasons why the odds are stacked against you. If you choose that path, their response was. That's awesome. You should do that. And I think that kind of upbringing, especially in that kind of environment and culture was so pronounced because it was so different. And it really did. I mean, I tell my dad all the time, how grateful I am to him and my mom, because I don't know how they did it. I asked him, cause I have three kids on my own. I'm like, how did you do that? What was the, what's the magic formula? So I can do this for my kids too. But I really think it is. For my dad. It was not just about not being afraid of taking risk. It was also that he measured his success in life against experience, not money for him. Money was just, which obviously doesn't really make sense because you need money to live. I mean, that's the reality of it, but for him, His, the value of his life and his inherent value as a human being came from how many experiences he could bank. And that's kind of how he raised us is that the money will come, but you only get one chance to live your life and experience everything you want to experience. So that's where you should focus, and if it doesn't work out, guess what you get to move on to another experience and that's okay. So, yeah, I think that I credit my parents a lot for giving us, for giving me that mindset of being trusting enough in my gut to fail and get up again and it again and again, and not be upset about it because I didn't fail in the sense, like in the traditional sense, maybe I did, but in the global emotional sense, it was just another chapter. Right. And that's okay.

Pam:

Yeah. I think as you're talking about that pre COVID, it feels like a hundred years ago because it was pretty good. COVID feels like it's been 30 years long. But when you went to New York city, is it New York city for the summer for a an acting

Saira:

program? Yes.

Pam:

Like having children, this isn't pre-children this isn't this isn't pre your own business. This is like having a business, having, three kids having an amazing husband who is so supportive and all of that, that you just kind of took a dive into this dream world that you I've been wanting your whole life.

Saira:

It was such a powerful first of all, I couldn't even believe I got in. Right. I mean, it's a really tough school to get into. And I went to New York city. I interviewed and I mean, Jeff Goldblum went here, right? I mean, it's like an awesome school. And my, my, my acting coach, David newer was just like, life-changing, he's amazing. And I S I remember the day I said to Bush I think I really want to do this. And he was like, Do it, you should, you absolutely have to do it like 1000%. You have to do it. And I had three kids at home, but we made it work. I mean, I still found ways to work while I was there and he came out to visit and it was amazing. I loved it. And I was actually going to go back for their two year conservatory. We had talked about it. I was going to move to New York. We were going to like commute and figure out a way for us to be together. But then COVID hit and my whole life just kind of turned upside down. So it didn't happen. But, and I was okay with that. I mean, I. So it was kind of crushed. And then I reminded myself because, COVID, it was like, I have so many other blessings and I still have a wonderful life. And at least I can say I did it. And guess what? That chapter will never be over. Right? If Samuel L. Jackson and, Morgan Freeman can basically like break in their late forties, this dream isn't over for me. It's just one pause and I didn't get upset about it. I didn't lose sleep over it. I just. It's a dream on hold. And then if it happens. And if it doesn't, I have lots of other dreams too. But yeah, that was amazing. That was like one of the best experiences of my absolute entire life. Yeah. And that wouldn't have

Pam:

happened if you hadn't been somebody that's

Saira:

willing to take a risk. Exactly. It never would have happened because how do you get time off from work? If you're working a full time job to go to New York for, nine weeks in the middle of the summer, And I feel like that's definitely something that has served me well, is faith. That even when it's hard, it's part of something greater and that better things are to come and you just have to ride out the storm. And it's hard. I mean, it's hard to do that. It really is. I mean, when you're in the muck, it's really difficult to see. The light at the end of the tunnel, but it's there.^^^And I think that you just have to have that faith, that everything in life is a journey. And if we don't have those, if you don't go through the muck, the joy doesn't feel as joyous, and there is something to be sad for what we survive, our stories, our strengths, our ability to help other people, all of those things come from whatever struggle we've been through personally, it just makes us the better for it. I think. Not that I would to struggle on anybody, but I think when it presents itself, as it inevitably does to everyone, we have to be ready to take it as, uh, something that could be something that could yield great things in the future. Right. If we just focus on the negative all the time, there's no growth there. Right. You have to be willing to turn it into something else.

Pam:

So I know you, right. And I don't all necessarily know you, so I'm hearing this and I'm like, yeah. Yeah. And I feel that in my heart, and I know that the struggles are still struggles, right? The struggle, the shit still shows up in your life. It's not oh,

Saira:

I just live a charmed life now guys, because,

Pam:

so how are, how do you do the

Saira:

continue

Pam:

to do the inner work? Continue to do the mindset, work, continue to do the the healing, all the shit that's come up in life. And how do you continue to do that now? Because I'm just thinking about. I'm a mom of one child. It can be a challenge. So like a mom of three kids, you've got a business that you run out of your home. Like how do you, how are you

Saira:

doing you? You have to live with intention. I think that so many people, I work with so many people that I've worked with in previous roles and jobs life happens to them. They don't happen to life. And I think there's a huge difference. You have to live with purpose and choose what you do and what you spend your time on. And look, I fail constantly with, at this exercise. Like I don't sleep well. I haven't saw him. Yeah. And so their days is. I get the kids to school Butch and I work together to get everybody fed and out the door. And I pass out after I just fall asleep because I've only been asleep for three hours at that point. There's other days where I have a lot of strengths and I'm like, oh, I'm ready to go. But I have to the hours that I'm awake, the hours I sleep, I have to be intentional as often as possible. So one of the things that is a priority to me is walking outside. Right. Like I just, I have to do it because I know that even though sometimes I'm like, oh, I don't want to. I pay the price later for not doing it right. I feel sluggish. I feel tired. I'm not as energized. So I think that you have to make choices about how you spend your time and you have to set limits. I am Vanessa and I, my sister, Vanessa, who I, you interviewed recently we are the anti hustle culture. Yeah. I think that the hustle culture is poison and toxin to your body and your soul. I think you have there, you, there was a time where I did this myself, where it was like, oh yeah, there's like a badge that you get for working 12 hours a day. And like, you know, you're like the super hero, right. You're just do all the time. But really all that does is take away from the quality of your life, make you less efficient. And you miss. And I think that you have to set those boundaries, especially when you're an entrepreneur, you have to put your phone away. And I, there are days where I suck at this. I'm not saying I'm the pioneer or anything. Like I have days where I suck at this, but I try to be mindful that you need boundaries, right? When you work for yourself, you're at work 24 7 because you are the work. And so you're working all the time. You've got to put it away. You have to set your bedtime, and say, I'm done with work at this hour. This is my reading time. This is my family time. You have to take vacations. I think one of the worst things you can do, and this is something that Manessa, and I talk about all the time is that entrepreneurs tend to think every minute worked is that next$10,000 deal that could have been made. Yeah, you're working 24 7 for the potential of the next transaction. And that's just a fantasy. And I think that when you work with that mindset of any moment, I'm not working, is that potential next client or relationship or dollar that I'm leaving on the table? You're essentially paying yourself less than you would pay for a minimum wage for someone to work for you. It's not time well spent. Right. And I often tell my clients, uh, don't be your own worst ball. Don't be your best employee and your worst boss. And I think a lot of entrepreneurs do this to themselves. They are their best employee who they treat like shit. And you wouldn't expect your employee to do some of the things we expect yourself to do. And I think that you are worthy of that same respect as a small business owner, entrepreneur, you have to do that. So that's what I do. I practice every day, living with intention and working with intention. And recognizing that downtime is not wasted time. It's time that you have to spend to re-energize yourself without the rest. You can't be creating. And you need to give yourself the room for that. You have to build space into your schedule for that downtime. And that downtime can include fitness. It can include meditation, yoga, family, time, children, time, sleep, time, like sex time, whatever, all those times are important. And I think that entrepreneurs have to be mindful of that and not become, a, an engine of effort that never stops because eventually then you just. No. So

Pam:

I'm really curious about how you go about setting, like being clear on this is my intention, this is the path of which I'm doing these things or is it like a, you're a practice? Do you a routine that you do? Do you have something that,

Saira:

so endorses that I told this story in a group I run the other day, I just started it. Cause it's about. Helping entrepreneurs who are at this crossroads in their life, where they're just not sure if they want to, how they want to diversify, because I do think that entrepreneurs need to be diversified. Or if they're not sure if they want to step into something else and I, in there, I talk about. Growing up for me in Pakistan unpredictability, wasn't just, oh, my car broke down. Or, oh, the power went out. It was like catastrophe. Right. It was like, there's a strike and the city has shut down a bomb. Just went off, a car just got blown up. Uh, we're under martial law. Unpredictability in a country like that when I was a child meant very bad things usually. And so I generally don't do well with unpredictability and yet I am, I hate routine. And so it's I'm always in this war with myself about, like I don't like unpredictable, but I also don't like routine. So I'm constantly fighting with myself to try and find this balance. So what I found works for me is choosing an anchor act. And just starting simple with one thing that anchors your day, because then you can kind of, then your day naturally builds itself around other things. And so for me, that's walking, right? So four days a week, that's my anchor activity is I know I have to go for my walk, which means I can't schedule meetings at this time. Which means now the rest of my day starts to structure itself around this anchor activity. And I also think entrepreneurs in general tend to be people who are like, I am, I love freedom. Like I want freedom. I don't want to be shackled to the bounds of the nine to five. And so we're so resistant to schedules because the whole essence behind becoming an entrepreneur part of it was to have freedom over your schedule, the scary side, Terrible truth. Is that the more structure you have in your life, the more freedom you actually have, correct? Because then you can just get all those things that are must do's out of the way. And then all of a sudden you have all this free time to do whatever you want. I'm like I'm taking two weeks off to go to Disney world, and I never could have done that before. If I hadn't had. Discipline and structure in my life where I could plan for two whole weeks off with my family. Right. And I'm like, I'm not working at all. I've already told people I am not working. So I think that having, especially if you're like me, where routine is something, you tend to have an allergy towards picking just one anchor activity really does help to frame the rest of your day. It gives you that place where you're like, that you can build around those things. And then the structure just kind of comes as a result of that one incorrect. Yeah, I love that

Pam:

idea. I love the terminology as well. Like the anchor activity because you're right. And unfortunately, as entrepreneurs, we tend to like, I want freedom and I don't want to be shackled, but I'm gonna work 12 hours a day and actually get up from my desk and I'm not going to eat.

Saira:

Right. It's like I left my nine to five jobs so I could work 6:00 AM to 6:00 PM. Wait a minute. What? This doesn't make sense, but it's true. It's really true. So working and living with intention really does actually yield more. Over time. It's just a bitch to get started.

Pam:

Yeah. Yeah. And in my experience, like the more structure you have, and I mean, you know me, like I have a monkey add brain. There's no, there's not like a natural, right? Exactly. It's like a natural thing for me to be like, oh, structure. I'm not like rigid. So like the, but the more structure I have, the more space I have

Saira:

for. Exactly. It's so true. I mean, I just launched my feel-good challenge and that was all about getting outside and walking. And I worked on that email series for a year. A year and why did it take me so damn long? I don't even know. I mean, I don't know what took me so long, but then once I was done with it, I was like, wow, I really created something here. And then I was starting to see the power of the discipline of just creating the content and getting it ready. And then all of a sudden, I didn't give away anything for free. Right. I mean, I didn't give away anything, like no money, no prizes. The only thing that you got when you subscribed it, Was the nine week email series. And I couldn't even believe it. I think I got 150 signups or 200 signups it's the most I've ever gotten in one go. And it was really because I was giving people something that they found valuable and I didn't have to, even now it's on autopilot. I didn't have to think about it because I already did all the prep work. The whole email series of set up everything just kind of runs. And I'm like, now I know how to do it and I can do it again. And I can rinse and repeat and would do it with something else. And so I think that giving your business. Just like you would to a boss giving it structured hours. Right. I don't work 24 hours a day giving it structured hours and having set times where you do set things, you can exponentially grow your business because. You're giving it the attention it needs at the time it needs it. But you're also giving yourself that downtime, which is so important, right? You would never expect an employee to work 365 days on Christmas, on new year's on Easter, on Thanksgiving. Like you're not going to expect that of your employee. Right. That's but you do, but somehow entrepreneurs expect that of themselves. Right. Okay.

Pam:

Standing in line at Disney on your phone, respond to whatever mess

Saira:

up and you know what, it's funny. It was actually a boss of mine, uh, who I adore. He is the one who taught me where he said, Syrah, I love you. And I rely on you and you do great work, but don't think that you're so important that you can't take that time away. And he wasn't saying it to me, rude. He was literally just saying, people are going to survive. It, nothing is so urgent that you have to respond right then and there in the middle of star wars, you need to take your insecurity and put it away because you are enough and you would do a good enough job that you are, you have earned the right to turn off and trust that people are going to wait to hear from you. It doesn't not, everything is an emergency. And, I think. I went to see a doctor because I was really sick and they couldn't figure out what's wrong with me. And then finally they said, oh, what's not, what's wrong with you. You have adrenal burnout. Like your adrenal glands are fried. There is a physical price that you pay for abusing your body. And I think that we've talked about this before this started. Don't wait for the fir for the biology to smack you in the face to tell you, you have to slow down and you have to prioritize eating while or walking or getting in the fresh air. Right. Don't wait for that to happen. Take the signs now and make the time for it, because if you are laid up because you're sick, guess what? You lose a heck of a lot more time than you would if you just took the hour a day, right. To prioritize yourself. Right. And it's hard because entrepreneurs, again, that's that mindset. Every minute, not spent working as a potential deal with money left on the table. And I think that's the first thing you have to erase from your mind, because it's a fallacy. And I think that it's proven out day after day, that you are not making sales every second of every day. Right? Yeah. And you can, and by being more intentional about how you spend your time. And choosing your clients carefully and saying, you know what, I'm not going to take every client that comes my way. I'm going to choose the ones that are going to be, it's a symbiotic relationship. And this works well together. Being discerning about your business and how you spend your time will actually grow your business more than trying to fill every nook and cranny of your life with my small business ownership, right. Trying to be

Pam:

everything to everyone. Yeah. Is not a

Saira:

losing position from the get-go.

Pam:

And when you're talking about this idea of the working and the, and if I don't, if I don't work every minute of every day, then I'm going to lose out on, these opportunities. You wouldn't be in that head space. If that actually works.

Saira:

Right. Exactly.

Pam:

You lack and desperate if that actually, because you'd

Saira:

be so much money, you would know what to do with it. Exactly. You'd just be drowning in it. Exactly. So it's people are just, I think a lot of times, and actually it's not even just entrepreneurs, it's even people that work in nine to five jobs, we do what we do over and over again because our primal brain tells us change is bad, right? It's no, don't do this because we don't want change. Change, not good. Well, we have to remind ourselves that, we're not living in a cave with the cheetah right outside, it's safe to make changes and we shouldn't continue doing what we've always done, just because it worked once. Right. We have to constantly innovate and create and be willing to take risks. Because if you don't take a risk. Nothing happens. Everything stays the same. And I, my clients are always so resistant to change and I'm always like, okay, let me ask you something. Are you making the money that you want to make right now? No. Do you feel happy and satisfied with what you're doing right now? No. Okay. So are you still doing it? So why are you still doing it? Well, because once it worked and I'm like, well, it doesn't anymore. And it's funny because the other thing I hear all the time as well, it works for someone. And I was, I love to watch chopped, just one of my favorite shows to watch. And it's every person who comes into chopped, right. They're a chef and they all open the same basket and yet they all make something different. If the person in chopped looks to their neighbor and tries to make exactly what they're making. Like their essence gets lost. Their voice gets lost. Their interpretation of the basket gets lost and they're not going to have near yes. Is it a risk to do something on their own? Of course, but that risk could turn into a$10,000 payout. Yeah. Copying your neighbor and thinking you're gonna be able to achieve what they achieve with your life experience and that's flavoring your perspective. That's just shortsighted. Because what makes people stand out is their uniqueness and their business, right? It's their authentic voice. It's their perspective. And those are the dishes I always see on shot. The judges are like, I can see your cooking style in this dish. And they love that authenticity. So I think all things being equal. If everybody opens the same box, everybody's going to make something different and they should, because we make based on our own life experience and our own. But if we try to copy our neighbor, we're literally setting ourselves up to fail. Maybe it works for somebody else, but that doesn't mean it's gonna work for you. And so I think that's another really important thing, right? That ties back into that self confidence and faith in yourself and your own journey is you can't build your business model off of what worked for somebody else. You just have to go through your own trial and error. You can learn from other people and be like, oh, this piece works and this piece works. But I think. Just because something works for somebody else doesn't mean it's just going to plug and play and work for you. Right. Cause we all have our own experiences that we're bringing to the table. And if we leave those things out, we're putting ourselves at a disadvantage. Right. Because we attract people to ourselves based on our own stories.

Pam:

Yeah. I mean, kind of going back to both the law of attraction and mindset around. You talked about money mindset, but mindset around like things like abundance and drawing in like that's people too, right. Drawing in the ideal customer, drawing in the person that you want to work with. I don't, I used to have to turn, uh, coaching clients away. I don't have to anymore because I attract, I draw in exactly who I want. Yep. And

Saira:

it's interesting to me, because I think this is one of the exercises that especially people who are in any kind of sales, whether it's a product sale or a service sale are so resistant to as this exercise of target audience and Vanessa and I are so passionate about it because it's like everyone wants to sell to everyone. And when you sell to everyone, you literally sell to no one because it's, nobody knows what your messages, and like you really have to distill that. Your client. And it doesn't mean that you're going to exclude everybody, but it really does mean that there is someone ideal that you're talking to. There is that person whose life are going to change because they interacted with you. There is something amazing. That's going to happen. Some kind of magic that's going to happen. Who is that? And to get beyond the superficial, who are they really? What are they looking for? What is driving them to eat, to be seeking out a service where they might land on your page? And a lot of them just have no idea. They can't articulate their target audiences. And I'm like, it is so important to know who you're selling to, whether it's a service or a product, because if you sell to everyone, you sell to no one, like literally you lose everybody.

Pam:

Right. Right. I know. I run into that as well. When I have, I often work, I often end up working with. Yeah. And they're like, well, I don't want to target moms. And I'm like, why you have so much experience at it. I don't understand why you're resistant. And that's a, and that's an interesting, right. We do our own work. We figure out like, why am I resistant? What is that all about?

Saira:

Yeah. And often it's funny. I tell people your target audience journey is really just a journey of self discovery. You find it yourself, and it's, but it's a very powerful exercise. And when you unlock. There is a magic that happens, like in my community, I can see it, in my Facebook group, I can see it happening. Like when I hit on those points, that actually matter to people, that's when I get the most interaction. Right. And in the end, it's the sale is just a by-product of the community you built around. And I think that so much focus, like when I go to a lot of these boutique owners and, people that I work with, I see their groups are just like sell, and nobody wants to be sold to, and feel like they're in Las Vegas with billboards around them, 24, 7, it's overwhelming. And honestly, after a while you just tune it out, people are looking for connection and more so now than ever people want. It's like what you said, why did you start this podcast? Because I want to connect with people tonight. Right? It's people want to connect. And if you can create that. Where people can come together. Like-minded people come together to connect that's magic right there, and the sale, whatever it is, you're selling your service, your product, whatever it is will come, but it's not going to come because you're bashing people over the head with Facebook ads or, sell, it's going to come because people know that I can trust you and want to do business with you.

Pam:

Yeah. Yeah. And you're building, I mean, it's about building relationships, right? And it's, it goes back to that idea of clearing out, the relationships that don't serve you. And when you know, you're. When, you know your own story, when you're aware of the narrative that's coming out of your brain, that's creating. Cause our mindset, what happens in our head creates the world around us. We turn the authors. It is like the matrix. We're the authors of our own life. So like I often say my husband loves, when I say this to him, he'll complain about something and I will say things. I wonder why you put that in your way today and he'll be like, screw you huh? Wonder why that story. And I have when I had the pacemaker put in him, laying on the table, as they're like cut into my juggler

Saira:

to put in a temporary pacemaker, it was a good

Pam:

time. I'm like laying on the table going, I wonder one, what I've just learned here. And two why I wrote this into my story.

Saira:

Right, right.

Pam:

I wonder what this is all about, but when he can, when we can come from that place of empowerment, that place of not ego, not like I'm so great. I created this thing, but there's this constant reflection of our inner world on the outer

Saira:

and life is a relationship, and it's a relationship with the energy around you. I think that. Always go back to my mom. She was, I mean, someday we should do a podcast with Vanessa just about my mom's story, because it gets a real it's tragic. And because it's like a woman born at a time where there just weren't tools to help her with depression, anxiety, and illness, and I think if she'd be born just 10 years later, her whole life experience probably would live to be a hundred. Like I think she would've had a very different life experience, but she was, Anyway. But like when she died, it could have, it was so painful because not only did she die, she died in a horrible way. And it was just awful diseases. Cancer is a terrible thing and it just, it was an awful thing to experience. But from that Vanessa and I built a new life and I think that there are things, people are like, well, I didn't, law of attraction, like I don't want to attract that kind of stuff into my life. So, I mean, it's not, it doesn't mean that you're attracting. I certainly didn't reel my mother's death into existence, but it happens, things happen in life and it's really about how do you take that event and say, How do I turn this around into something that's going to sow the seeds of the future? How do I turn my mom's legacy into something powerful, not sad. So of course the sadness will always be with me that happened, I mean, that was a horrible thing that happened in my life, but what's next, right? Is it going to be something that, that takes over my life in a bad way, or is it going to be something that builds my life in a good way? And I want her legacy to be something amazing. So, I published a book and it's dedicated to my mother and like, All of these things. I really feel that hurt now, everything Vanessa and I do is literally about saving my mother. We talk about, well, why don't we do what we do? And it's well, because I don't want anyone to feel like my mom, I don't want anyone to ever feel alone isolated and like she's forgotten. And. Like her story is irrelevant. Everyone has a story to tell and everyone's story matters. And it's funny when I talk about we're like, God, we're really just saving mom every day. That's what we do. And I'm like, what a great legacy, for a horrible story to turn into her memory is every day everywhere for us,

Pam:

yeah. She mentioned that when we were when I interviewed her, I said, what was the inspiration for the work that you're doing now? And she was like, she told me like her own story. And then she was. Yeah. So my, my, my inspiration for what I'm doing now has nothing to do with my own story has to do with my mom.

Saira:

Yeah.

Pam:

So if you could offer A tip a strategy, a recommendation of something to people that are listening and thinking like, Hey, yeah, I want to dive in and do some change work. What would be your suggestion? Where would you suggest people start your thought?

Saira:

One go back to what brings you joy in life? If your business is making you miserable. Let's think about why that is and try to get back to the joy because without that, why are you doing it? So I think that's the first thing is find the joy. The second is surround yourself with really good people. My dad told me this when I was a teenager, he said we are who we surround ourselves with. Right. Surround yourself with people who build. People who tell you the truth, but are there to support you, who are going to tell you that you rock and help you be your best self? We all have work to do. We all have ways that we can improve and be better, but I think you know, who the people are around you that suck the energy out of the room, right? Surround yourself with people that are putting energy back into the room. We're adding to, the positive feelings around. Reading good books. Like I don't read a ton. I don't have a lot of time because I do my downtime. I'm usually spending with my kids, but I think. Is a great thing. It helps you center yourself and there's so many great things to learn from people. So read, reread. And don't just read for self-help read fiction books, read a good mystery, it's it, titillates the soul. It's a wonderful thing, and I would say get outside as much as you can. I am actually not a huge outdoor person, but I get outside every day and there is some, an overtime. That investment in your physical fitness in nature pays off big time because you are doing soul work, mind, work, and body work all at the same time. And it's a big payout, a huge payout. Yeah. So I think that, those are the really important things I think. Yeah. The most important thing is find your joint and work and stop hustling so much. You really have to be smart and intentional about your time working more. It does not mean more money. It just means more work. Yeah. And

Pam:

if working more meant more money than you, like I said, you would already be, you wouldn't be asking you when listening to podcasts going, how can I change this? You wouldn't be, investing in a coach or whatever the things are that you're doing. You would be, sitting on your mountain.

Saira:

And I will say too, I think entrepreneurs need to recognize the value in diversification. I work in I didn't, I don't even think I even said what I do. Right. So I want a women's boutique. Like I make my own jewelry all these earrings you see, they can't see them. But and I think that in this industry, especially, there's a lot of folks who are very diversified, but there's a huge amount of them who, retail store owners who feel like this is all I can do. Right. I have. And I have to be a hundred percent committed and I can't take anything else on, but diversification is really important. In fact, most people will tell you that if you're an entrepreneur, you need six independent revenue streams, because if one dips, because of whatever's happening in the world, you can kind of pick up with the others. And so I think finding ways to be diversified is really important when you're an entrepreneur, because then you're not putting all of your eggs in one basket. You're giving yourself that. And since I started diversifying and really leaning into all the various types of skills that I have. I have my coaching business and I have my my jewelry business and I have my I have my book that I wrote and I'm writing another one and I have research, admin work that I do. And, for hospital administration and health care, it's I have all these different income streams. And so when one is suffering, I can lean into the other one and it really helps to kind of bridge the gap. Yeah. That's awesome.

Pam:

So where can our listeners

Saira:

find you? Where do you find. You know what a great question. And this is what Vanessa and I talk about all the time is people need to know where the heck to find you, because it's no good to be out there, offering services and whatnot, if nobody can find where you are. Right. So, right now Facebook is really the place where I do most of my work, even though I'm not a huge fan of social media and I kind of really just don't want to be on it anymore. It is where I am. So Syrah valley on Facebook and I love when people, friend me and just message me and, reach out to ask questions. I'm a real connection person. And so, I have a lot of friends who are like, oh, I don't like when people messaged me on Facebook, I'm like, oh, I love it. I love when people through connections like this, just message me and say, Hey, I saw. You know your video and I have some questions. Can I pick your brain? It's absolutely. So yeah, I'm Syrah valley on Facebook and then my community where I sell clothing and we do a lot of the feel-good challenge and all those things is actually in my group, which is our twisted valley. It's right on Facebook. Yup. And we, yeah, that group, even though I do have a sales component there, I it's really more about women helping women. Yeah. And it's about, community and feeling good about yourself and being better today than you were yesterday through small actions. Yeah. That's what I always

Pam:

love. I always love, well, anytime I get a notification that you've posted something, I'm like, oh, what is she saying? I always love when I see like you've written something and people are commenting and I'm like, how does she know that person? How does she know that a person, it's just funny to see those types of crossover connections

Saira:

is kind of cool. Yeah. I mean, social media is so powerful. And even though like I struggle with right now, because I just curate my feed now more and more to just show me the stuff I care about. But you know, if you're in an industry where you're selling or, a product or service, I often hear from my clients, well, I post stuff and nobody comments and I don't understand. And it's well, storytelling is a powerful thing. And you have to tell stories that people care about. And if all you do is sell. Uh, whether it's your product or service, people just feel lost and they don't feel the connection to you. You have to build a relationship, and I love Donald Miller. His latest book, I'm kind of on the fence about it. He kind of pissed me off in one section. So I put it down and I was like, I'm not reading this right now. But overall he's a very good author. And he wrote a book called business made simple and marketing made simple, both are excellent books and everybody who's an entrepreneur should absolutely read them. They're game-changing books. But he talks about, the power of storytelling, and really connecting with people and that people have to know and trust you to want to give you their money and do business with you. And you have to earn this. Right. And earning the sale is about taking the time to know who you're selling to and caring about them. Right? Because in a time where people can buy from anyone, why are they going to buy from you? Or why are they going to do business with you or trust your services or your coaching or whatever it is that you're offering. That only comes from building those relationships. You just, you gotta be the cheers, like everybody knows. That's, you're creating that environment. And that only comes with showing up everyday consistently and creating something that people care about in terms of storytelling. Yep, absolutely.

Pam:

Absolutely. Awesome. Well, I thank you for being on my

Saira:

podcast. Well, thanks for the invite. This was my first time. So if I was kind of rusty or not I, as articulate as I could have. Now, back to our first time though. Nice job.

Pam:

Nice job. Thank you guys so much for listening. If you have anything that you would like to share with either Sarah or myself, I have linked us both up in the show notes, so you can connect with us on social media, send us, DMS or whatever they call it on Facebook. Is it at the, a of there too?

Saira:

I just say Facebook messenger and that anything

Pam:

where you can connect with us or send us a direct message do so, because we would love to hear from you. We'd love to hear what inspires you in this episode. And I just want to say, as I do, as often as I can, as I appreciate the hell out of you guys, thank you so much for listening and I will see you all next week. Take care.