The Peaceful Home

Episode 33: Finding Alignment in Your Spiritual Journey with Lisa Tuthill

June 14, 2022 Pamela Godbois
The Peaceful Home
Episode 33: Finding Alignment in Your Spiritual Journey with Lisa Tuthill
Show Notes Transcript

In this week’s episode, Lisa Tuthill is revealing her insight on navigating misaligned relationships with spirituality.  She shares her own journey with uncovering energetic blocks and her journey through reconnecting and balancing her feminine and masculine energies and how she is teaching others to embrace their own alignment and uncover the person they are meant to be. 


Born and raised in Northern California, Lisa attended Sonoma State and received her BA in childhood psychology. Relocating to Santa Fe, NM for her master’s degree in counseling, she knew she had found the right program for her with the program emphasis on personal growth and transformation. So began her journey of self-work. After meeting her husband in New Mexico, they moved to Montana and later settled in Wyoming. The mother of two boys 10 & 6, she has been a mental health therapist for almost 15 years in Wyoming counseling adults, children, and families.  A shift in her husband’s work brought them to San Jose CA. 


Three years ago she took a deep dive back into her own work, focusing on spiritual and energetic healing by enrolling in a Life and Spiritual Coaching Program. Along with her own personal transformation, Lisa was able to bridge together her skills as a therapist with her new skills as a  Life/Spiritual Coach. This brought her deeper into alignment and so began the shift.  She realized she is meant to help and guide others who feel stuck in life. To help those that feel like something is missing. Lisa wants to help women make the change in themselves that ripples out into the world.

If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device and post it to your Instagram Stories and tag us, @pamgodboiscoaching and @tuthilllisa.


In this episode you’ll hear:

  • Lisa shares her own journey through struggles and healing both energetically and emotionally. 
  • Lisa speaks about the disconnect created due to our own beliefs and the stories that shape our lives. 
  • We explore strategies to take back your won power and create the life you desire. 
  • Lisa shares her journey with rediscovering her own spiritual self, and how to find alignment in a way that feels good. 
  • We dive into the process of setting healthy boundaries and the impact this has on all of us collectively!
  • Lisa explains the impact of early conditioning and its place in your spiritual journey, and what you can do with it. 



LINKS:

Lisa’s Website: https://www.lisatuthillcoaching.com (Click “Get Started”) 


Lisa’s Instagram 


Connect with me:  Instagram, Facebook, and Tiktok


If you’re like “I love listening to Pam chat with guests.” Then head over and write a review! We really appreciate your support and it helps us to keep growing!!  https://pamgodbois.com/ApplePodcast Thank you so much for listening to this week’s episode. Be sure to tune in next week.

The best thing you can do for yourself and your kids is effectively regulate your nervous system. And a great place to start >> to wire the brain for gratitude. Research tells us that gratitude increases happiness and a peaceful mindset. Make the shift and watch how things in your life start to change. Sign up today! www.pamgodbois.com/gratitude

PAM:

Welcome back to the out of your mind podcast. In this week's episode, I had the opportunity to sit down with Lisa Tuttle. Lisa is a therapist. And a spiritual coach. So if you were on your own emotional or spiritual journey, And looking to align with what feels right to you. This is an episode you're going to want to listen to. Let's dive in All right. Yay. Welcome Lisa. Welcome to the podcast. I'm so

Lisa:

excited that you're here joining me today. Well, thank you. Thank you for having me. Yeah.

PAM:

So we've worked together a bit. I know your story. So I'm excited. To hear all the devolved in your story. Since the last time we sat down and talked and you have a, quite a journey that you've been on, right? You

Lisa:

are a therapist by trade. Yep. Like schooling

PAM:

and all that stuff. Great. And you're

Lisa:

also

PAM:

a coach, like doing some spiritual coaching and tapping into that stuff, but, but that work comes from your own journey. That was your journey that brought you to that place. And I would love for you to share what that journey has been like. Like how did you end up here doing what you're doing now?

Lisa:

That's a good question. I think really it starts from when I was really little, I always just knew I. To be a part of other people's stories and journeys. And so I just, in our conditioned world, the way to do that was to go into therapy. And I knew from the moment I was, I don't know, super little when we were asked what we wanted to do, I just knew that I wanted to be a therapist. And so, I went to Sonoma state, got my degree in psych childhood psychosis. And then I didn't want to go to school anymore. So I took a break and just hung out, had fun snowboarded, played, waited tables, no big deal and for a couple of years. And then I decided I wanted to do more. I went to New Mexico Santa Fe, New Mexico, and went to a transformational existential program for my counseling. And we had medicine wheels and we, it was not a typical graduate program. Their philosophy was you need to do your own. In order to be a therapist. So we were required to do therapy the whole time we were in school and the way they approach theories and methods and all the, stuff you're supposed to take for counseling was from your own perspective and your own. And so even in the classrooms, you were still diving into your own stuff. So you would apply a theory to your own life and you'd have to write about it and work through it and all of that. And I really found this program. I'm not, I'm not even kidding by, I don't want to stay in California, so I'm going to throw a dart on the wall and it landed in New Mexico. And I was like, okay, well, and I didn't want to take the GRE terrible test taking. I was like, what? Get into, so I don't have to take a test. And I, it just so happens that at Linden New Mexico, I found this one by Googling it. It was like, and I was like, okay, I'm moving. And so I got into the program, I moved and at the time, I was like, whoa, this stuff is a little out there. This is a little Lulu. I don't know if I can do this. Now, looking back, a lot of that had to do with my condition beliefs. A lot of that had to do with how I was raised, how our society views it, all of those sort of things. But at the time I was like, well, I don't know. I don't know. But that's where my spiritual journey began was really at this school. And. There was something about the land in New Mexico. There was something about the energy for me. Santa Fe is one of those towns that either sucks you in and everything goes right, or it literally spits you out. It is not a town. You can't just make it by it's just the energy around it. I don't know how to say it really spits you out. It's everything goes wrong. Can't find an apartment. You can't do that. Everything goes wrong and you just leave. So I really took to the culture and the nature and all of that. And then Mexico. And then I graduated, I went up to Well, I was doing my internship up in Montana because I had met my husband in New Mexico, followed him up to Montana. And I ended up working with sex offenders for two years. And I, my whole idea around that was if I can work with them without judgment, then I can work with anybody. And so it was, I did that and I actually really enjoyed it and I really learned so much. And I worked with Well, the, the, the guy that founded the sex offender program treat the treatment program up a month in the state of Montana. And their re-offending rate. When you go through the program, it's 2%, it's, it's an amazing program, but it works with. Beliefs and conditioned beliefs and breaking all of those down and really owning your stuff. I mean, it's really detailed and really in depth. And I still use some of the stuff from that program, even in my everyday working with clients, because it is, it's pretty powerful that we moved to Wyoming. I opened up my own practice. And then when we moved to California, My license didn't transfer. So that was pretty frustrating. Cause I had owned my own private practice for 10 years. I'd been counseling for 15 years and they wouldn't. I had to go back to school and I wasn't going to do it. I decided to kind of research a little bit and look into coaching. And then I found down in San Diego, a therapist who now teaches coaching. So there was a program down in San Diego and I saw spiritual coaching and there was just something about it that I was like, huh. All right, let me see what that's all about. And I went down there and I had some pretty intense. Transformational stuff happened. One of them had never had this experience before, but one of them was I was the only therapist in there. Everybody else had other avenues of life or journeys and stuff. And so it's the only therapist and this girl had made a comment to me that really triggered me. And I went back to the hotel that night and I couldn't sleep. And I was, I actually had, was having anxiety attacks and I've never had one in my life. So I went back in the next day and I had told her not to, like this triggered me, don't say that you don't know people's lives, you can't. And it had to do with my trauma, having our second son. And I ended up working with the Reiki person who was there and that. It sounds really crazy. I know, but she helped me recognize one. I've always been living in my masculinity. That's what protected me was my masculine energy. And she really helped me kind of like, put like my sword down. That was the masculine, like it's okay. You can still bring it out. Wow. Whatever. And when she was done working on me, it was almost like, I, I don't know how else to describe it, except that I felt like I was at home. There was just something that shifted energetically in my body as she walked me through, that just felt like I was back home. And so then that night at the hotel, I went back and I, it was my, I had a kick in my back. There was like, it's like when you're pregnant and pregnant. Yeah. Yeah. And you can fill that foot, kicking or punching or whatever, and you could see it. I liked videoed it because I'm like, people are gonna think I'm crazy. I swear to God and I had a hysterectomy. There's no way I was pregnant. And you could see it. And it was like, like a foot almost. And I was like, oh, this is so bizarre. And so I videotaped it. And then I went in the next, because it was a five day intensive training. And I went in the next day and they went up to her and I said, Nancy, I like, I know this is going to sound crazy, but I have it on video too. So, you know, and I, and she looked at me and she smiled and she said, that's your feminine energy waking back up. And I was like, oh, She goes, you rebirth your feminine energy and was able to really experience it, feel it, and watch it. And I was like, whoa, that's intense. And so since that experience, I realized, oh, there's really something to this. And it felt good. It started to feel aligned. And I came back from that program, just feeling really energized and feeling really good and getting back into grounding myself and doing pulling my cards and staging and all of those things that felt really safe and really comfortable for me. And then. Fell back into conditions, beliefs and fell back into out. Everyone's going to think I'm weird or everyone's gonna think I'm crazy. And I would say since your program, that your program really helping me. Unpack a lot of those things. And then also continuing to just do my own personal work on what does that look like? How do I correlate that into my life? How do I offer that to my clients? And I would say, since your program it's been what, like a year, little less than it, something like that since I just said continuing to do. My work and continuing my personal inner work and continuing to accept an honor that I have these abilities and these gifts that I can incorporate and help other people. I own them as well, I guess.

PAM:

Yeah. So I'm so interested about this. Like you're so fortunate, like to back up to your grad school experience, right? I we've had this conversation before, like I went to Boston university. There's nothing about Boston university that was like, do your own work other than they were like, every therapist should have a therapist. Yeah. There you go. Now we've, we've covered our butts. Who've done the thing we're supposed to do now, go on and now let's study all this other stuff and I've said forever, right? But then I became a yoga teacher and I was like, oh my God, here's the issue? The issue is the issue in the world of therapy. And even in yoga and healing is that so many of us, aren't doing all the work we're doing pieces of. Yeah, they're looking at little things that maybe come up and get in the way. And we try to heal that we don't understand that everything's connected and we're not doing the work of the deeper connection that needs to happen in order to show up the best possible way that we can for ourselves and for the people in our lives. Right. And so you're fortunate that you had this like foundation, I guess, this place to move from where you were like, oh, so it's not just, it's not just this path over here. There's like kind of a couple of things that I can be curious about, or there's a couple of things that I can expand into. And so what was that?

Lisa:

What was that like

PAM:

for you in your own personal journey to go from Hey, I'm doing this graduate school program and becoming a therapist I'm doing this this work that I feel aligned with to then relocate to a place that was like, actually, we're not a therapist here. Like good luck with. Yeah. Cause I would imagine if I were in your situation right after 15 years of practicing, having like,

Lisa:

I can decide, I want to be a fair ass anymore, but who are you? The state

PAM:

that I live in to decide that I am not qualified to do this anymore. What was that journey like for you to get from there and heal enough that you're, you're actually being able to open the doors and go oh, No, this is actually a gift. This is a gift because I can look at the world in a completely different way. And then all these other experiences, other results.

Lisa:

That's a really good question. And there's a couple of things that come up. Number one, I think that I am just that type of personality. I wanted to go to SAC state for my graduate program and because they had a rivalry with Sonoma, I know it sounds weird, but since I had a rivalry with Sonoma state here in California, they weren't going to accept any of my stuff in order for me to go to, they wanted me to also continue all this extra work. And I was like, I'm not doing that. And that's why I took the two years off and went and played. And so I feel like. What I tend to do in those moments is sit with it for however long it needs. I need to sit with it really kind of like, okay, I'm not going to do that. There's a reason because if it's SAC succeeded got me in my life, would've been totally different. But because I was able to go to Santa Fe, New Mexico, I had a whole different eye-opening experience. And I feel like. The universe or God or whomever you spirit, whoever you, however you look at that, that this has always been my journey and these roadblocks are there intentionally. And I feel like when I got here, I was. Her. I was disappointed. I was angry how to all those motions. I allowed myself to just feel them. I think it's important for us to feel what we're feeling and not get stuck in it. So allow yourself to feel however long that is, but don't stay stuck. And then I just was like, okay, well, what can I do? How can I still do this with. Having my license here in California. Oh, I can do coaching. Great. And so I, I tend to, when obstacles come up, I feel it, I get whatever emotion and feeling, process it, talk to people that I know that I can talk to and where I feel like I can kind of not just vent, but sort of process with. And then I, I find alternatives because I feel like you can either choose to wallow in it and you can choose to stay stuck and oh, poor me and victimized. Or you can choose to see all the other options that are in front of you. So it it's always been in my personality. I've always been that person. That's just sort of. This sort of well, screw you, I'm going to find a different way. Yeah. I love it. Like

PAM:

really? Oh, you think so?

Lisa:

Yeah. You gotta stop me. Yeah. So, I, it's not, I'm not saying it's like an easy process. I'm not saying that I didn't feel hurt or angry or annoyed or frustrated or whatever these emotions I was feeling. But once I allow myself to feel that on the other side of that, it's like, all right, well, let me prove you. And that's just always been my personality and I've always kind of been strong in that, that piece of it. And I don't tend to look back once I make a decision. I, I go forward. Yeah.

PAM:

Yeah. And I often hear from so many women in particular, what a struggle that is, right. That they say yes to something or they say no to something and they then wallow in the guilt of the decisions. Yeah, and I get stuck and they get asked and they get sucked back into the old story, the old belief, the old programming. And they're like, oh, I feel terrible that I did this thing. Right. Or that they didn't do this thing. Right. Like I, I said, no. And I do think there's a component. I think you and I are a lot in that I always say have an odd little 13 year old boy inside of you think so. And there's a gift in that, right? There's a gift in that. Would those struggle with those circumstances when they are rise that are a struggle to just be able to be like, okay, I have to move through this. Can't stay here forever. This feels

Lisa:

like shit. Yeah, totally. It's that, that's what a lot of, I work with some, a lot of my clients who in fact, I had one this morning who was talking about the guilt. He was feeling he's African. And so in their culture, they tend to need to take care of their elders. Right. And. It's I feel so guilty, but he also, his mom's borderline was a nurse. I mean, he's got all this stuff that we've worked through and had to kind of unpack and he's in a good place now, but that guilt of not being home. And I just, I said, okay, so here's the story. Here, what's the reality? Oh, well my mom's 61. She has a roof over her head. I sent her money home. Okay. So you're actually doing what you're supposed to be doing in your culture, correct? Right. Oh yeah. Okay. Like it's just kind of helping people recognize what's the story. What's that belief. What's that narrative. And then what, so that's your perception in your experience? What's what's. And not even just emotions, but what are the facts, for him it was like, oh, I paid for my mom's house. Okay. So overhead. Yeah. Oh, I send her money so she can buy food. Yeah. There's oh, okay. And just kind of, we get, like you said, we get so caught up in and me included and I did a lot of work through your program on, on a lot of those beliefs. We get so caught up in that story and we believe that that's our truth. When in reality, it's not ours. It's what other people have told us to believe. And so I think sometimes it can be really scary because you don't know what your truth is and you have to kind of figure that out. So when it gets scary and it's unknown, we always go back to our narrative. Our conditioned belief are, and we have a difficult time shifting through that, that unknown cause it's scary. Yeah.

PAM:

So that makes me think of you've, you've kind of brushed over some of the things that you've done, some of the like practices and modalities and whatever things that you've done, but what does that work been like for you? Like what are the actual practices that you use when old stories come up? When, you know, you get stuck in the, in the weeds, I call it right. When you get stuck in the weeds what are the things that you do for you that help you move through that process? That you're also like sharing with other people what's.

Lisa:

That's a great question. So for myself, a lot of those things that I do is one I reach out to either. A friend that I have a good relationship with that I can process it, and I, in particular, I'm thinking of one particular friend, her name's Abby, and she does quantum human design. And so she really helps me. I'm a generator, so I'm a gut response person. I'm like, you have to ask me yes or no questions. And I go I can feel it. My whole body goes into it. So she's really good at kind of taking whatever. What experience I'm having and then ask me those. Yes. Or no questions. And just to have her, what she does is she takes the whole, whatever I've vented out or dumped out or whatever it was. And then she'll, she writes it down and then she picks those things and then asks yes or no questions and helps me sort of shift through it in my beliefs and in my conditioning. So that's really beneficial for me. I, for me, grounding is a huge company. If I'm not grounded by energy goes way above my head and I can feel it like way out of my body. And then I get real, I talk really fast. My brain goes really fast. All of these sorts of things where I'm like trying to catch up to something. So those for me are, or I'm super irritable. Those are my cues to take a moment deep breath. That belly breath going back to as, as a yoga teacher, going back to that belly breath as a baby, and I think we're conditioned to stop breathing like that because our stomach stick out and we're not supposed to have big stomachs. Right. And so, that really grounds me that really helps taking that moment to just really breathe taking walks. Putting my feet in the ground, whether that's in the grass or the sand or the dirt or whatever it is, and then taking that breath in a lot of times, even if I can just sit out in the sun and just listen to the nature around me and have the sun beat down on me, I can get back in my body. I think I've mentioned to you before due to my trauma, I really could have disassociating And I'm aware of that. And so I work really hard on grounding myself and I'll Sage sometimes, or listen to music or just when I work with people, I feel like I give them the examples, I'm pretty To some degree I'm open. I I've never really bought into the don't share your life with your clients because I feel like then that separates you and makes you. I don't want to lack of better words, but like on a pedestal. And I don't think that that's beneficial for, for people. I think people need to be able to connect and, and, and understand that you really get what they're going through. And not that I share details necessarily, but I do open up and, and I'll, I think every person is different and everybody needs something different. And so. To have what I call like a tool bag of a whole bunch of modalities, a whole bunch of different ideas, because what works for you? Is it going to work for the next person? Right. So those are some of the things that I personally do. And then obviously I offer them. I do also work on like the five senses. If you're feeling out of your body or feeling, what do you see? What do you hear? What do you smell? What do you taste? All of those sorts of things, what can you touch? But yeah. I feel like I'm going to collectic therapist and spiritual coach. Cause I just, I, I think we're all so different, uniquely different and bring so many beautiful things into the world, but we all need different things. We all need to just feel validated and heard. And if you can do that, then you can connect. And then from there, the trust is built. And then from there We can come up with an idea and a plan that works best for you. Yeah.

PAM:

Yeah. And I'm just thinking about it, as you're saying, like needs to be validated. It needs to be heard, maybe felt I needed to be seen. Right. Those are all the things we need to be loved. Those are the components and what's interesting. And it happens all the time and like therapy and coaching and all the modalities and things that we offer. Right. The people come to us, not able to do those things for themselves. Yeah.

Lisa:

And

PAM:

what a gift it is to be able to just teach someone simply how to self validate, just teach somebody how to like, to hear themselves, to, to do, to, by doing what they need. Very right. What, what do I need right now and doing that thing as opposed to saying, what do I need right now? And then being like, screw you, you're not worth it. You don't get that thing, which is what we

Lisa:

do, right. Well that we believe we don't. Yeah. We're, we're taught somewhere in our lives that we aren't good enough or we're not, we don't deserve it. And that's frankly, just not true, I just, and so, this, my quarterly cause integrity, and I just think everybody needs to just get along. And I just had this whole we all just need to love each other. I'm aware that that's not super realistic. However, there is that like innate part of me, that's just. If we can just smile and open the door for someone that impacts that, that person to impact the next person to impact the next person, or to go home and be in a better mood with their family or whatever it is. And I just feel like the more little acts of that, that's so incredibly powerful. And especially with all the stuff we've been going through in the last couple of years, All the collective trauma, all the collective like chaos and all of these things that we've really isolated ourselves from humanity. And yes, we all have a difference of opinion and we all have our viewpoints on things and I'm not suggesting that we all agree. I'm just suggesting that we hold space for people. And like you said earlier, I'm curious like, Hmm, I'm curious about that and meet that with curiosity, rather than meeting that with resistance or anger or whatever it is at the end of that conversation, you still don't have to agree. Do have to hold that. I believe that you still have to hold that space of compassion and understanding. And if we can do that, then I feel as we can collectively as a whole start healing.

PAM:

So it's really interesting that you say like that you're talking about this idea of holding space for each other and being able to show up and just be curious as, as opposed to judge or put walls up or whatever. I've had a lot of people say, and I see this in my own life. Right. I see this where you've got the people that are willing, that are always willing to be open. And to it's not, don't want to step on anybody's toes and don't want to be perceived as mean or anything along those lines. Right. And they tend towards people. Yeah. And then you've got the people on the other end of the spectrum that are like, I don't care, get out of my way I'm right or wrong. And the, the struggle, the clash that we're running into and what I'm hearing from people. When I talk about these things be curious and hold some space there, you don't need to judge them need to attack. You don't need to. Is that those that are normally moving from a place of more compassion

Lisa:

are

PAM:

feeling the, or feeling rundown or feeling. As the doormat.

Lisa:

Right. And they're like out,

PAM:

won't do that anymore. And then you've got people that are like, nobody, I'm not man, anybody's doormat or pushing back against that. And so we're actually, there's actually more conflict that's happening. What are your do you have any suggestions for listeners out there that are feeling like. What is more likely, is it the listeners that are listening to my podcast or the ones that are walking around feeling like doormats and are like, I don't want to be anybody's I don't, I, I don't like this feeling anymore. You have any suggestions for those people that are

Lisa:

really good question? Because absolutely people are getting barked out 100%. Now what I say could, I said, I also don't mean don't have boundaries because, and boundaries, not only for yourself, but for other people and boundaries for energy. And so it's, and again, this is just how I see it. And, and people can agree or disagree. I don't, it doesn't matter, but I just feel like. If you're a people pleaser and somebody who feels like a doormat, this is not going to be a popular opinion, but you are probably one. That's not setting boundaries. So boundaries don't have to be harsh boundary. And I think people have this idea that when I set a boundary, it's gotta be, don't ever call me again. Don't ever, like these real, very Set in stone sort of boundaries, real harsh. They don't have to look like that. And so my recommendation for those people would be more of really taking a look at where your energy is going. So if you're getting burnt out or your getting walked all over, it's because you are allowing people to take up your energy again, probably not a popular opinion, but that's what you're doing. And you're allowing people to walk away. And you're, you're trying to make everybody happy. And so when I say we all need to go along, I mean, yeah, we all need to get along, but that doesn't mean we're not doing it with boundaries and we're not doing it with, like that doesn't feel aligned with me. That doesn't feel good to me. That does, you have to be able to really take a look at yourself and where's my energy going. When am I the most exhausted? Am I tired after I talked to this? Wait, we'll start limiting your time with that person. I haven't many people in my life that I still engage with a whole lot because I'm aware that they suck my energy and it doesn't mean that I've cut them out. It does. It just means that I've set a boundary around that and they don't even know I've set a boundary. Like you could do it without people being aware of it. And so. Really, I think to answer your question, it has to do with boundaries and it has to do with taking a look at yourself, taking a look at who's in your life. When do you feel the most drained? How are you energizing yourself? And if you're constantly trying to change people's mind, that's not going to work. Especially with those people that you're talking about way on the other side of the spectrum, on that pendulum, where it's it's my way or the highway and I'm right. And they're not people who are going to change. My, my point in all of this is collectively as a whole. The people in the middle or the people on the other side of the, the people pleasers and all of that. And we can all come together and we can open the door for that person or smile at them or help them with their groceries or whatever it is. You don't have to change their mind about them being. Totally not it aligned with your beliefs. You don't even have to talk about that, but you just made their day and that's an act of kindness and that's what spreads. And then collectively as a whole, that's, what's going to change. And then those people on that side of the spectrum are going to be shrink smaller and smaller and smaller because they're going to feel the energy we're going to change. So electively raise

PAM:

our vibration exactly about

Lisa:

right. Absolutely. Collectively raising the vibration 100%. And yeah. So the people that are people pleasers, that's the first thing we talk about. Where's your energy going? Who are you? And if you're a people pleaser, how does that make you? How are you feeling? Oh, I'm feeling drained. I'm tired. I am. And why are you doing it? If it doesn't feel good, Take a look at that and take a look at how can I, again, it doesn't have to be like, oh, I'm never going to see this person again. It just means don't call them every day. Joel, engage with them every day or, see them once a month or once, whatever feels good in your alignment. But take a look at that and recognize where your energy skull. Because as soon as you set those boundaries, you're going to feel so much better. You're not gonna feel as burnt out. And you're going to be able to keep your vibration higher. Yeah. I love that. You

PAM:

mentioned the idea of boundaries that are. Without even speaking them that they're set by your behavior and not by your words. And there sure. There are some things that we set by our words, but there's a lot of things. If we look around in life, there are so it's so often that I'll have people say to me, nobody asks you to do this thing. They always ask me and I'm like,

Lisa:

yeah, Because

PAM:

I'm not open to that. Right. I have set a non-verbal boundary that I'm not, I'm not doing that. I'm not, I'm not available, not willing. It's not important to me. And it is an interesting, it's an interesting prospect and it's a really great place to start. If you're uncomfortable setting boundaries, you're afraid of rejection, right. Which is the reason we don't set boundaries. And here's another, probably very unpopular opinion for the people who use those that are listed. The reason that you're a people pleaser is because you are definitely afraid of being rejected and not being worthy of love and connection, but, and that goes across the board. That's every human being on the planet. And I don't care who you are, or you can tell me that that's not the case. And I will just say to you, cool. So you don't know yourself? That's fine. That's fine. Yeah. But yeah, I mean, it's such a great way to, to set up to like gently set a boundary, right? Not taking the call, just because

Lisa:

somebody is calling you on your phone doesn't mean you have. Yes. That's and you can get back a week later and go, I'm sorry. I was really busy. I'm just now getting back to you that, or

PAM:

not apologize. I'm not apologizing, especially if you fall in the camp of like people, pleaser is afraid to take up space, like that everything's in apology. I'm a huge fan of no apologies. Like I'm like you don't there's no apologies. Well, and you could

Lisa:

just say it is, I've been really busy. I'm just not able to get back to it. That's just a different way of staying. There you go. You set your back. I like to say, thank you so much for your patience. I appreciate it. I had a lot going

PAM:

on. Yeah. And immediately, like I have this I'm known right in my circle. I'm known as the person to like, like this one can diffuse any conflict. And I'll call the company, whatever the, the, the, the electric company, the oil company, the whatever, the people that you can never get to do, the thing that you want them to do, I can call. And within 10 minutes I got. The manager's manager on the phone and they're doing exactly what I want them to do, and I didn't have to play hard ball. I was just like, oh yeah, see, these are the things I have words that I use and it just works. And so when you're able to recognize like, Hey, this is what I'm willing to accept. This is how I'm willing to allow you to treat.

Lisa:

Yeah,

PAM:

right. Then you reinforce it. So I love that. I love that. The idea of like, where does your energy go? Where are you? Where are you feeling burnt out? What's kind of getting you feeling overwhelmed. And I think the other component thinking about we're both moms, right, is thinking about this from a place of being moms and business owners, entrepreneurs, and like healers. We're doing this healing work with people in the world, and then we have to come home to our

Lisa:

own family.

PAM:

That recognizing that regardless of who you are out there, if you've got other beings in your life that you're caring for that it's okay. Not to be perfect. Yeah.

Lisa:

And as moms particularly right where we're, so we're supposed to do everything right. And there's this whole idea that I was listening, I podcast a while ago or NPR or something. The person was saying, oh, happy father's day. And he goes, I'm going to not accept that because. We get so much praise for just taking their kids to the grocery store. Men get so much praise for doing X, Y, and Z. When really moms never get praised for doing the same things that we are doing. And so it was a really interesting take on kind of looking at this idea that we are supposed to be. And if we are working or we are doing this or whatever it is that somehow now we're not a good mom because we're not there all the time. And I just, it really that's that it really frustrates me. And because we're supposed to be superheroes. But we don't get we're just supposed to write. Not that, not that that's like going above and beyond. It's we're just supposed to do this. The thing. Yeah. It's just a thing. I'm fortunate. I have a really good husband who actually my children eat better than when I'm home alone with them. Yeah. My kids are like, he takes really good care of our kids. So I have a really good partner in that sense, but a lot of people don't and again, I think it goes back to. And exactly what you said. It goes back to how am I going to allow you to treat me? And that is not, doesn't have to be verbal, but if you're doing everything without asking for help, then you can't be mad. A lot of people, a lot of clients that I've had, if they're a parent, well, I, I have to do everything well, have you asked your partner for her? So then it goes into the communication, right? And it goes into, not only communication, but knowing yourself and knowing what you can manage. No, you can't do everything. So how do we, how do we set those boundaries? How do we learn how to communicate and ask for what we need? And then before that is, what do I need and what does that look like?

PAM:

Yeah. And if you're listening and you just thought I can do everything, then you've got another layer of work to do. Yeah. And I love, you're talking about the motherhood and The, some of the work that you do, right? Some of the spiritual healing work that you do really is rooted in. And, and I mean, you talked about your own story of going to this coaching program and having some healing done and, and clearing away. Some of the masculine overtaking and leaning into the feminine energy, which is, the element of water and flow and is our second chakra. And that's also where like the trauma from. Parenthood being parented and parenthood all lives in the same place in our body. And so you're doing some of that work with people

Lisa:

as well. Yeah. And I, I, again, I think it's important for, for me when I'm working with clients is to draw from my experience. I think it's important for them to know that I do do my own. I think it's important for people to make sure that whomever they're working with has done their work. There's a lot of coaches out there that call themselves informed. Got one have not done their work. And two don't even have a certificate or maybe have a two day workshop or something. Trauma is when our bodies are overwhelmed, right. And don't know how to process it, but it is so intricate and it lives in so many different places of our body. And it's so intertwined in so many things. That you need to be careful when you choose who you work with, that you are working with someone who actually has the education and the background and all of those sort of things. Not even necessarily their own experience, but just think it's, there's a boundary, right? That goes back to boundaries. It's you need to make sure that you're working with someone, you feel safe, comfortable, it's done their work. Isn't going to be triggered is, all of these sort of things. And you have the. To ask them a lot of people who go into therapy or coaching or whatever it is. Feel like they have the right to do that. Or like when you go to a doctor's office, you just assume that the doctor knows what they're talking about. Right. But they don't, somebody

PAM:

hired them. So you assume you trust the process, you trust the process that got them there.

Lisa:

Yeah. Yeah. So it's okay. Again, going back to what we talked about earlier was like curiosity, it's your body, your life, your journey. Yeah, you have every right to ask whoever you're seeking help with whether it's mental health or whether it's just personal growth, more, whether it's the doctor, the cardiologist or whatever, to ask questions. I asked my

PAM:

cardiologist questions are you a Libra? Is your moon sign. He's

Lisa:

huh? He is a Libra. I said, I said,

PAM:

are you a Libra? He said, yeah. I said, when's your birthday? He told me, and I didn't say anything. I just looked at him and he looked at me and he turned and looked at the computer anyway. We have the same birthday. It's yes,

Lisa:

we do. It was weird. It was very weird. It was very like, I had

PAM:

this moment of boom, like an ask, ask this question so

Lisa:

fascinating. Right. And then by asking, how did you feel after you asked? Well, I was like, of course you are

PAM:

because the people in my life are fall into these sun and moon signs. Right. Like I was a good course. You are. Yeah. There's a reason I felt, I, I felt this level of trust with him that I was like, Okay. There's gotta be a reason for this. I'm going to see it. I'm going to ask this that way. And one, if he's truly the person that I think he is, then he's going to be open to this conversation and it's not, it's not a big deal. Right? So there's like a component of trusting your own strengths and your own inner world. And so often we discount we discount the things that we think we know. And that was one of the things that you talked about in your own journey is that discounting your. Your ability to see and to feel and to see the spiritual

Lisa:

world? Well, because I was conditioned to believe that that's wrong. Right? We're even going as far back as like when you're little and your parents, there's two things. When you fall down and you get hurt, your parents go what? And I've even been guilty of this. You're okay. So I'm telling you how you feel when you just got hurt. Rather than like, how are, are you okay? Or that looked like it really hurt. What could I do for, asking those things. I'm telling people how to feel like that's not okay. Or we, when kids see spirits, what do we do? Oh, you didn't see that that's wrong. We didn't experience that. Right. So we're conditioned from so little that the. Spiritual world, whether you believe in spirits or ghosts or God or the universe or whatever it is that doesn't exist. Or that that's not real or what you're feeling. You're crazy.

PAM:

I mean our whole mental health system is based on that.

Lisa:

Yes. We can talk about

PAM:

this for days. Like our whole mental health system is based on you have if I went to a psychiatrist. In the community mental health system and said, I have all these sensations on the side of my head when I know that when, what I'm experiencing is accurate, right. My guides are like telling me like, Hey, pay attention to this thing. They would be like, okay, let's get you on some lithium.

Lisa:

Yeah, seriously. I've always been the person in the room. Therapist that was like, but you know, just because we're diagnosing this person with schizophrenia, it doesn't mean that they're crazy. Like maybe they're seeing things that we can't see, but yet we're diagnosing them with schizophrenia. Right. I mean, or like my clients who've had multiple personalities. Oh, that's not, I don't know. But when I'm sitting in a room and I watched my client energetically change, That's a different personality for me, you know? and being able to just accept that I can see people's energies. I can see, I can see things that like images come up to me when people are talking. Like I can visualize like I said earlier, before, I think we started recording was like mud, lot of times when people are feeling stuck, And they're describing the story. All I can see is just like real thick mud and then trying to walk, or I think there's these images that come up when people talk. And I used to think that those were crazy, because we're taught that, don't say those things where you're going to end up here. When in reality, That's just something we've always done it. And I mean, I could go really far into it, but, that's white people came over and basically took over with religion, and when I was talking to my husband about the whole feeling like. Persecuted in witchcraft. And we're top of these things are crazy and he was talking a lot or we were in conversation about how way back in the day, women are very powerful. We. And when there was in men as well, but, shamanism or witchcraft or whatever they persecuted because we can't let them be that powerful or we can't, whatever it is. But just that ideas that this has been around for. Hmm, like forever. We've just as a society have silenced it.

PAM:

Yeah. Yeah. We've put a, we put a label on it, a diagnosis on it, something to say that person can't be what they're saying. What you're doing is not, you can't buy that. And then, you give organized religion not to, not to go down that road, but you get organized religion saying things like, oh, it's the devil, it's the, it's some sort of negative entity that's taking over and that's causing these things. And yeah, I mean, our history is full of it. Our history is full, but for sure, for sure. So when. So you're doing spiritual coaching and emotional health and wellbeing, spiritual coaching stuff. What are you doing with people right now? What's the kind of work like who are you working with and what work are you doing? I know you kind of made reference to some things, but

Lisa:

so I am doing a couple of things. I still have my, I work on better health platform. So there's obviously like very more people are seeking therapy. However, a lot of the clients that I tend to take on. 90% of them. I do a lot of spiritual coaching within that platform. So, a lot of it right now is breaking down those narratives, breaking down those conditioned beliefs and really trying to figure out and help them with what their purposes, what do you want to do? What's really gonna make you happy. And what's keeping you from doing that. And so it's really just challenging those narratives and challenging those beliefs or that belief system, and then helping them, cause obviously you don't want to take something away without putting something else in place. And so really helping each client kind of, figure out what they can substitute. So whether that's I have one class. Who goes running every day now because that's his way of being able to stay grounded and those sorts of things meditating. I have another client we talk a lot about we'll just energy in general. And what does that, where is that energy going? He's a people pleaser he seek as well. And so there's a whole religious component to that. I have another client who was raised Catholic. So a lot of the clients in that platform that are coming to me do have religious beliefs and they no longer resonate with them, but they want to be able to still honor some of that. Like what feels good? Religion because it's not, they don't want to get rid of it, but they, they don't buy into all of it. And so really helping them identify what is aligned for them. And what's not. And then breaking down those beliefs, that belief system, and then helping them kind of, put into their own, their own journey, their own story that resonates better. And then with my spiritual coaching clients, it's, it's pretty similar.'cause I feel like in order for you to really be aligned with who you are, you have so many things to unpack. Right? And we have so many narratives are so many belief systems that aren't ours, whether it's society, whether it's our family, whatever it is or even. Generational stuff that comes in is really just kind of breaking those things down before you can really get into your spiritual practice and that spiritual practice can look like whatever feels aligned for you. It doesn't have to look like meditating every day. It doesn't have to look like. What we think of as saging or singing bowls or w I mean, we have this idea of what spirituality is. All it is, is finding what feels aligned for you and inner peace and rounding. And that looks different for everybody. And so just help people kind of break away all of that stuff and find a practice for them that feels aligned so that they can. Have a baseline and that they can go into the world with curiosity rather than resentment or anger or whatever they're feeling people pleasing. Yeah. Yeah, totally.

PAM:

So that's awesome. That's it sounds like you're doing some great work. So if our audience wants to find you, how do they find you? Where are you hanging out? We're going to find

Lisa:

you these days? Well, I am on Instagram and I have a website, so Instagram. I don't. Do you want me to forgive him?

PAM:

I will look it up in the show notes as well, but you

Lisa:

can say it out loud. Okay. So Instagram is my last name, first name. So it's two U T H I L. L I S a, so there's three hours in a row that can be confusing. And then I have a website that's www dot Lisa Tuthill. So T U T H I L L coaching.com. And you can go to the website and check things out there too.

PAM:

Sweet. Do you have any, like on there, do you have a book, a call with you or. Ways for them to get ahold of you. Once

Lisa:

they're at your website, it goes straight into my email. Like you just get ahold of me. He goes into my email. I. Again. Okay. So this is probably like my own core belief of integrity, but I D I don't, I didn't put prices up there. I didn't put any of that kind of stuff. Cause I feel like we need to talk first. So I want, I want to make sure that you feel comfortable. It's not just me interviewing you. You're interviewing me as well. Right? Because it needs to be a good match and you need to feel comfortable and safe. And I don't take it personally, if it's. If it's not, it's not meant to be. It's fine. So I didn't eat, so it basically just links up and then we can schedule a perfect a call to talk or something and see if what you're looking for. Awesome. And awesome. I know

PAM:

sometimes, sometimes our listeners are like, we're used to the, click the book, a call button and you go into somebody's Calendly and book the thing. So I wasn't sure what your what your

Lisa:

structure looks like. No, to be honest, I have, this is not my expertise. So I had somebody set up my website and then Emma kind of oversees my website. So, I don't think goes to my, because that was just too much. Mine is so simple. It's literally just going to hold a me and let's just chit chat. I'm not perfect. It's perfect. It's totally perfect. I

PAM:

just wanted to like, be able to say it out loud. This is what's happening. So go to the website, contact, click the contacts to contact you, email you and set something up. That's amazing. That's interesting. And Instagram,

Lisa:

of course.

PAM:

Lisa, thank you so much for being on the podcast today. I am so grateful for you to take time out of your day and come spend time with me. And guys, if you're listening in anything, spoke to you about this episode, anything that you want to shout out to us about, please do. So I've linked up mine and Lisa's Instagram's in the show notes and you can DMS, you can share, you can. We were both. We were both like to chat you up. So feel

Lisa:

free, feel free to connect so much. I appreciate it. You're welcome. You're

PAM:

welcome. All right guys, take care and I will see you next week.