The Peaceful Home

Episode 21: Turning Challenge into Gold with Janessa Nickell

April 15, 2022 Pamela Godbois
The Peaceful Home
Episode 21: Turning Challenge into Gold with Janessa Nickell
Show Notes Transcript

Welcome to Episode #21 of The Out of Your Mind Podcast. Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to show up for yourself and tune in. 


In this week’s episode, I sat down to chat with Janessa Nickell, a fellow yogi, transformation coach, and healer on a path of self-discovery, Janessa is helping turn gritty challenges into comeback gold, and she is an absolute gem, filled with wisdom, passion, and intuitive nature.  


Janessa Nickell is a corporate strategy consultant turned transformation coach, athlete, and artist passionate about helping high achievers in relationship and career transitions, create new lives that turn them on - mind, body, heart, and soul. She cares deeply about this work because she has experienced the ups and downs of transformation. For over a decade, she created a life filled with elite academic accolades, lucrative career success, and an abundant lifestyle. 


Although the life she created was beautiful in many ways, she was experiencing painful struggles with her health and relationships. Years of over-achievement and perfectionism created a health crisis that she could no longer ignore. After spending many years and thousands of dollars in therapy, coaching, and personal development courses, she recognized her burnout and struggles were fueled by disconnection with her intuition, sensuality, spirituality, and creativity. A key part of her personal transformation is integrating her purpose with her passions and her corporate skills with her creative power so she can live a life aligned with her authentic self.



What inspired you this episode? I’d love to hear from you. Take a screenshot, tag @pamgodboiscoaching and @janessanickell on Instagram, and share something that resonated with you from this week’s episode with Janessa.



Here’s a quick glance at this episode…


[00:05:35] When the stories and beliefs about us, override the inner knowing, major shifts happen. 


[00:09:20] The uncovering of the pivotal moment, and what brought her there. 


[00:24:10] The power of sitting in the messy stuff, the not knowing and what lessons it brings.


[00:29:35] The challenge in finding the right path, and the suffering that happens along the way. 


[00:38:40] How slowing down can offer clarity and create space for alignment. 


Rate, Review, & Follow on Apple podcasts at https://pamgodbois.com/ApplePodcast Leaving a review helps me to continue to create more content for entrepreneurs, just like you, looking to level up their life and business by stepping into alignment. Click here, scroll to the bottom, and tap “Write a Review” to get started.



Links: 

Guest Website: https://www.janessanickell.com

Let’s connect  on Instagram, Facebook & Tiktok


Thank you so much for listening to this week’s episode. Be sure to tune in next week.


If you are loving these episodes, please consider donating to support the show.

The best thing you can do for yourself and your kids is effectively regulate your nervous system. And a great place to start >> to wire the brain for gratitude. Research tells us that gratitude increases happiness and a peaceful mindset. Make the shift and watch how things in your life start to change. Sign up today! www.pamgodbois.com/gratitude

Pam:

If you were an entrepreneur who has ever felt like you're, ping-ponging from one thing to the next, not sure what's the path for you. You're not going to want to miss this episode. Welcome to episode number 20, one of the out of your mind podcast, where I sit down with Janessa nickel and we talk all about mindset, energy. Growth and a little bit of woo. And along with her story, Janessa shares with us, the practices that she loves most. To find the clarity to get on the right path and find your gold. Let's dive in hey Janessa. Thank you so much for being here today. I really appreciate your willingness to be on the podcast and share your story. So

Janessa:

exciting. So I'm excited to be here. I appreciate the opportunity to connect.

Pam:

Yeah, I know we were talking before we got on that part of the reason I started the podcast is for that exact reason to connect, we're two years into this, what will pandemic, where as entrepreneurs, we're pretty isolated and it's hard to connect. And all the networking groups I was going to previously have stopped and all

Janessa:

that stuff.

Pam:

And so. I that's why I started the podcast. I was like, I need some friends. I was going to start a podcast. Very exciting. So we're here today to chat about your story. And I was reading up on what you've been doing and you have an MBA. Now you do lots of stuff in the world of woo with astrology and energy and intuition and all of that stuff. And I would love to hear that story of transformation. Ooh.

Janessa:

He said, we'll go for about 45 minutes. Okay. Well, oh gosh. At first, usually how I answered that question is some version of, well, like I went to Stanford, I got my MBA. I did business strategy consulting. I start around there, but as I was listening to you ask this, actually I had a whole. Image pop into my head because he brought up intuition and the Wu and, and I actually went back to my childhood, and this memory of, so maybe we start the story there.

Pam:

I'd love to start the story there.

Janessa:

Yeah. Why not? Cause I think that in so many ways I'll preface this by saying that I am circlings spiraling. It feels like around things that really lit me up as a kid. And then when I grew up and I got a bit more disconnected from those experiences and, and climb the corporate ladder, checked all the boxes, did the things right that I thought I should be doing based on external expectations and some of my own drive and interest. Of course. But I almost got a little too removed from that. And now it's like, all of it is starting to come together in this big pot. Like I get this image of just turn it up right. Of the corporate and the woo and the spirituality and the very practical, like, how do you build a business? All of it coming together. But when I was a kid, what really lit me up was that sense of imagination. The woo. The being able to play in ways with energy and movement and body and voice. And, and I was so wrapped up in those experiences and just loved to explore. I've read a ton of books. It looks sort of like my best friends. I had some friends, but I was definitely one of those little kids that really enjoyed just like going to the library and checking out as many books as I could and bringing them home and reading as many as I could write, like that was. My play space. And then of course up in my imagination had a ton of imaginary friends and maybe they were other things as well. I don't know, but, we can,

Pam:

we can imagine what that was about. Uh, and that

Janessa:

was, that was something, like I said, that I got a little disconnected from along the way, and I think that's very common. A lot of us, it's sort of part of the development that we go through. We start swallowing whole, these stories about us and lose touch with the story that's really alive inside us. That's waiting to be expressed. That's waiting to come out. And so that, that was a little quieter for me for a while after I went through adolescence and, and in many ways, academics and school became my space. It became. This place where I felt like maybe I could achieve some level of safety through excelling and doing the best that I could do. And I mean, we could decide if we want to unpack this too, like that's related

Pam:

to like childhood experiences,

Janessa:

right? And just, that was my way of trying to make sense of my world and who I was and how I fit into it was okay. Well, I can be the achiever. I can be the one that sets the audacious goals. And it goes out and gets it done. And that, that lit up for me, that that really pushed a lot of things in my life that eventually came to be with going to Stanford and getting my MBA and working in strategy consulting. And like I said, there's still a nugget of, of authenticity there. It's just, I think sometimes these passions of ours. When, when they shift from being something that's internally motivated to something that's externally motivated, that's where things get wonky. And that's what I encountered. I mean, I loved my business consulting career. I gained a ton of skills. I was working. Very large corporations, primarily in the healthcare industry, helping them figure out how they can improve their consumer experience through digital. So things like not just websites and not just mobile apps, the more so the overall experience end to end for folks who are interacting with health insurance companies or healthcare providers. And I was able to travel all over the place. Yeah. Be in so many different companies and organizations and work on lots of teams. And so I don't want to diminish that by any means that that's a very and I've had to go through my own process around that. Right? Like I think sometimes when you make these big shifts or transitions, we, we almost sometimes reject where we've been, rather than seeing it as an integration. Right. So I went through that phase. I the pendulum swung to the other direction as new notice. Then I went hold on. Woo. I was, I was going through a lot around my own health and navigating a divorce and my life was exploding. And so that was when spirituality and energy came into my space again. And I was like, wow, there are so many questions that I really haven't been asking about. For years and years and years, but I need to start asking myself. So that really launched my whole journey into more of that self inquiry, that inner work, the excavation, the gritty bits which I think you, you, you get right. There's so much around how we need to do our inner work so we can create that foundation for what we want to build externally to actually blossom and flow from a place that's strong within. So I think that kind of addresses.

Pam:

Yeah. It's interesting how often the, the, the pivotal moment, the shift, the thing that happens is our world's falling apart, right. Like for sure. Whether it's relationships, whether it's our career path, whether it's our health. So often for women I feel like it's helped it's it's relationships, but I keep hearing this, like my health was a mess. My health fell apart. My body failed on me. My, all of these things started happening from a health perspective. And, uh, I really think that that's because we ignore because we can. Right. We ignore the, all the shit that's going on. We ignore the stress and the overwhelm and the fear and all the emotions and all the things. Because especially when we're high achievers, we, I just throw it. Okay. Just stack that one on the top and keep going. And then eventually the bodies break. Yeah.

Janessa:

So

Pam:

what was that? And I know that was your experience. So what was that? Healing experience like for you. So your, your health is compromised. You're going through a divorce and now you have this, you said spirituality came back in into the equation for you. You now have this opportunity, which of course never in the moment or rarely in the woman. I won't say never rarely in the moment are we like, this is a great opportunity, but that's what I, usually we look back and go, wow, there's not there. There's the opportunity. There it is. There's the magic that happened. What was that, uh, kind of transformation like for you? How did you go through that? What kind of things helped you get through that?

Janessa:

Yeah. Well, my, my unraveling point, it manifested as a life-changing physical injury and based on what I studied and what I've experienced, I know that that was. The symptom of something so much deeper energetically, spiritually, emotionally, mentally within me. I agree with you in that moment. It didn't feel that way. It sort of just felt well, shit, this is horrible, right? There's no opportunity to be here. Why is this happening? But looking back, yes, yes. I see how that was one of the most divine and beautiful wake up calls I could get, because at that point in my journey, I was just pushing, pushing, pushing, and striving, striving, striving, more, more, more, more, more, and not taking care of myself. And I was at the time accelerating in the sport of Olympic weightlifter II and, uh, was just training nonstop. I wasn't sleeping. My consulting job had me traveling and just working crazy hours day, evening, weekends. And my relationship was on. And in training, I fractured my spine, so I have a bilateral spondylolisthesis and. That shifted everything for me, of course, for a little while, I still tried to push and I still try, you know, sometimes we do that, right. We're like, okay, here's the sign from the universe? Slow the fuck down. And I'm like, no, just keep going. It doesn't apply

Pam:

to me. So for me, it just needs to push a little harder. Yeah, I get it. Yeah. That's all we

Janessa:

need. We just need to dial it up more and then it solves itself. Yeah. That didn't happen. They didn't happen. So I went through this phase where I had that, oh, shit moment. Like that rock bottom. I had just competed at my first national meet with this fractured spine. I, I couldn't even train really leading up to the meat because I was in so much pain and I got back from that experience and I realized, oh, I'm in way over my head. And that was when I realized, like I gotta take care of my health and do something. And so I actually went on a medical leave of absence from my job, and that was. I mean, I was almost surprised myself by how much space I needed to create in order to really dig into the work because I was facing an eating disorder and depression and anxiety and all these things that I put on the back burner that I I've been aware of and how they were impacting my life and how they were impacting my relationships. And. It wasn't until I was in that experience that I recognized just how serious it was. And it was almost like peeling back the layers of it. Right? Like every, every moment, every day, every week it was sort of like, oh God, here's another layer of this. And there were those moments when it felt like, I don't know if I'm ever going to get out of this. And I'm like, how does one actually take this? And turn it into, as you were describing, like this opportunity for growth and it takes time. At least I have to speak for my experience. It's not overnight. But I think we often put that pressure on ourselves to say, well, I should just be able to turn this around. Right. I'm only going to need a few weeks break. Right. Not recognizing that it's sort of this ongoing journey. When, when, when we're really committing, at least I'll say when I was recognizing, I really need to commit to living a life that is authentic and honest, which also means I'm gonna have to face the darkness in myself. And the ways that that then manifests externally, not from a place of shame or judgment, but from a place. How do I get into my life more rather than trying to escape it and love myself more as a result?

Pam:

Yeah. I think that we're adept as human beings. Yeah. I'll say that. I'll stick with that statement. We're adept as human beings at hi. At numbing at withdrawing from things that are uncomfortable. Right. We've, we've evolved to that place where we're like, not really like discomfort. So I'm just gonna do this thing over here. That makes me feel less uncomfortable. But the work is in the discomfort. Like you've got a that's part of the work, right. You've got to learn to sit with feeling. You got to learn to sit with the emotions that arise when you when you're angry with yourself or when you're resentful or when shame does show up. And you're like, well, hello, how you doing? Okay. What do we do with this? And, and in particular when you're talking about things like. Anxiety, mental health, mental health concerns, eating disorders, things that there has inherently been, uh, from a cultural perspective. Cause we don't talk about it. A lot of shame around I can't talk about the fact that I'm a high achiever. I can't talk about the fact that I'm depressed or they have an eating disorder or that that I'm experiencing anxiety and. I mean, it's actually really common for high achievers to experience those things, because the reason they're high achieving is because they're looking to outrun them. So they just keep going.

Janessa:

Yeah. Yeah. We, yeah, we, we want to run, we want to numb. I, I wanted to numb and I thought that, to circle back to that earlier point, like the more I know, like I thought that was going to be the solution to just make it go away and it doesn't go away. It's very patient. Right. And I think it's, it's also one thing that came up for me when I was listening to you. Talk about that as well, is this idea that I still have these moments? Of course, when I'm really digging into the. The emotional material. Right. I just had this a few days ago. Like it was just a tidal wave of emotion coming up. And I knew it was from my past in some way. I knew that I was like, I built enough experience now that I can call myself on my own shit at times and say, and I use shit very lovingly. It's like mine, it's like my own little like gremlin inside and she's really cute. And we have to talk a lot sometimes about how she can just chill. But I was noticing this come up in the moment and there's still times where I struggled with that. I'm a human and there are also these really funny times where I see that tendency to come up to want to numb, to want to run, to not face it. And it's almost comical right. Where it's oh, I can actually see this and acknowledge it for what it is with. It's a coping mechanism. Yeah. And it funny how it's still coming up in my life. Right. I find that humor sometimes is one of the biggest strategies, energies we can use to introduce the more of that, that love and really diffused that energy.

Pam:

Yeah. Yeah. I love that idea of, Using laughter. I mean, there's an energy that goes along with laughter. Right. But using humor, using lightness I mean it, and when you use that term, when you use the term lightness, which is what humor and laughter and that competitive stuff is, you can see how that's a counter to the heaviness, right. Like light is opposite than heavy. So, yeah. I love that about that, uh, that realization and, and I agree that yeah. Yeah. I mean, I've been a therapist for over 20 years and I've been coaching for, I don't know, I can't, I can't do the math anymore seven years, I think. And I teach people how to manage their own shit. And there are plenty of times where I'm like, wow, I need to manage my own shit out here. It's very easy to get wrapped up in what's going on around you or, and have the little, the little gremlins creep in like the little, will a voice that starts talking in the back of the head. Yeah, it's, it's a, it's a pretty common thing. So you talked about strategies. What kind of strategies did you what is your practice consistent? As that suffer rises.

Janessa:

Yeah. Well, for a few years now I've had one strategy around it. It sounds so simple. And yet I find that's part of what makes it so powerful, which is to let myself feel it, especially around emotional content, emotional material, because for me, part of my history was the numbing. Right. But I look back at what I did in my twenties and I'm sort of amazed. I'm like, how did I. Function. Like how did I perform? So it's such a high level, have fast track promotion, do all these amazing things and have everything going on inside of me that was going on inside me. And it's oh, because I just wasn't even feeling it. I was so non doubt. And so for many years I had to have this practice of letting myself feel it, but also not necessarily. I got to remind myself often, I don't have to do anything with this. I don't have to create a story around it. If I choose to create a story. Sure. I'll do that. Well, humor myself, you know, and sometimes that's helpful. Like sometimes getting into the mental processing is helpful, but from a somatic perspective, from an emotion perspective, from an energy perspective, I do feel like these, these experiences, this material can get into our system. Into our tissues. And sometimes it's as simple as just letting ourselves witnessed it, feel it, be aware of it. And it starts to dissolve. I've had those experiences. So that's one of my strategies, like just this morning I had a bunch of rage coming up. My core partner were having breakfast and I'm just like regroup and it's letting myself feel that anger without having to try to shove it down or even react out of it. Yeah. But can I notice it, can I. So that's been pretty helpful. Journaling is something that at times has been helpful for me to really work things out for me, that's more let me just get it out of my head and onto something else. Yeah. And sometimes I do things with that sometimes I don't. Uh, but just to let the energy move movement is also really helpful. It's also something that's complicated for me in some ways, because of my history so that, some of these strategies we have. I think it's also important to be in relationship with the strategy itself. Yeah. And notice, am I cause sometimes especially to, within our culture, some of these strategies can actually turn into discipline. Okay.

Pam:

Anything can turn into a dysfunction. You can be, you can start to use anything to numb, right? I can I'm going to feel everything. And that becomes your strategy to not actually feel because you don't have, you're not having to do anything with it and you're not, you don't have to live the experience of it. You're just like, I'm just going to feel all the time. And then everything else falls to shit. And you

Janessa:

end up not having that conversation, that difficult conversation that, you should, because you're like, well, I'm just feeling it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It all comes down to the relationship with it in your intention with it. Yeah.

Pam:

Yeah. And I think I love that, that notion of bringing that idea of attention, like intention of purposeful attention to something and, deciding what you want to do with it. Right? That's what an intention is all about is I have the intention. I like to use emotions, like the emotions that I want to feel more of. When I talk about intentions what do I want to heal more today? I'm going to move through life with the intention of spreading more love, because I want more love. Right. So I'm going to give more of that so I can receive more of that. But yeah, I think sometimes we miss that. We miss the boat on that one. We forget that oh, there's a, there's a strategy to be purposeful with what you're doing. Right. Right. Just because you're like, so there's a difference between sitting with your partner at breakfast and being like I'm still angry and then versus not communicating that and just reacting to something your partner says, because you're so. It was two different experiences. Think you have a lucky partner that gets to hear you go, I'm so angry instead of like stop the coffee or whatever. Right. Whatever the thing is. So yeah, I mean, that's, that's the human relationship. So this work that you've done this, like you have been on a journey for sure. How has that journey informed what you're now doing with. Because you're not in corporate America anymore doing corporate strategy consultant stuff. You're, you're doing something completely different.

Janessa:

Yes. Yeah, what am I doing? That's an ongoing question. Right? We're all ever

Pam:

evolving that that's the work, right? When you're doing the work, you're like, wow, I'm evolving. Like right now I'm evolving into a podcast or it wasn't a podcast or two months ago. And the podcast hasn't at the time of this recording, my podcast hasn't launched yet. So we're always ever evolving. So that's number one. I love that. Embrace it. Yeah.

Janessa:

Yeah. Who am I? What am I doing? The sitting in the not knowing is a practice. So what, how has that turned into? Well, okay. There, there are a couple things that come to mind that was, there was a lot that was a brain dump there. But the first that really came to me when I was listening to you ask that question was I think right now one part of my journey is processing how. How it takes time for us to do our inner work and build a foundation within us. So we have, we have more ground underneath us before we necessarily launch something because I'll be fully candid. I think early in my entrepreneurial journey, I went too fast. So, and I think this is true when, when we go through in particular, these very transformative experiences and we come into contact with strategies, modalities, concepts, beliefs that shift us in ways that really help us and benefit us. We want to share that, and it's also really helpful to have an incubation period where we're in relationship with. With what we've learned and we are practicing how to embody it before necessarily bringing it up and out into the world. And I'll raise my hand and I'll say that, that I was one of those people, one of those entrepreneurs who probably moved a little too fast, right? Like I came out of this life-changing chapter of, of what I've been through and immediately, because my high achiever self was still quite loud. It was like, I'm going to start my own business. So I did, I was teaching yoga and I was working as an astrologer. It was incorporating all of the, the things that had really kept me going in some of my darkest moments. And that was beautiful. And I learned a lot. And looking back, if I'm honest with myself, I can say, it probably would have been helpful to give myself more time and to take that pressure off, to move so quickly. And I think coming out of my corporate world and corporate life, I was putting so much pressure on myself to again, achieve at a high level. Well, if I have my MBA and my Stanford degree, and I was consulting and managing millions of dollars in projects and their value. I should be able to launch a business and be making a ton of money in six months. And it's does it always so cold that way?

Pam:

********And unfortunately as entrepreneurs, we hear that and the Instagram, or I say Instagram, but it's all social media platforms that we hear that out in that world of here's a really quick way for you to make, your next a hundred thousand dollars. And there's a, there's a cultural component in the entrepreneur world. That feeds that as well.

Janessa:

And I find there's also another layer to this when it comes to spirituality or wellness. So spirituality too, or the woo, because it's almost, I don't know if I'll articulate this very well. This is something that I've been digging into recently and trying to understand as I watch what's happening on social media and culturally. But it's almost there's this narrative that yes, you should be able to create anything you want to create all that you desire in a short amount of time, follow these steps. And then it's like when life actually happens and reality hits us the way it does it quickly gets turned into where you're just not doing that well enough. You're right. And it happened. Yes. Thank you. I'm glad I'm not the only one that notice it's like crazy making. Right? Cause then you're like, well God, if I just, if I just, uh, do my positive affirmations more, maybe I'm just not doing that enough. Maybe I'm not journaling enough. Maybe, maybe I'm just, oh God. Like the fact that I was sad yesterday is now totally screwing up my ability to manifest my next client. Like we get into that space where we, I mean, we trap ourselves in that, and it just gets fed by that social media stuff.

Pam:

Oh yeah. And we're doing a disservice and one of the things that I just said the other day, like literally just said the other day with the, with the term mindset, one of the things that I hear a lot with mindset from coaches is coaches that don't help people shift their inner world and are just like, here's all the things that you need to do to get your next six-figure or whatever. When you, as the consumer, don't get your next six-figure whatever, it's your fault because you didn't do it system, right. It's or, or well, it's your mindset. You need to fix that. Well, stop blaming. You're like, ah, right. But it drives me. It makes me, it makes me crazy. But we just, it's a, it's a, a system that just keeps feeding. Because somebody says it a little bit louder and the next person says a little bit louder. And then we start in R and really we're wired for negative emotions anyway. It's how we're wired as human beings. And so if you're saying to me that the problem is me, I already believe the problem is me. So you're just reinforcing the thought the problem. And then, and

Janessa:

then you end up paying more money. Right. Cause you're like, well, okay. Maybe the solution is just, I invest more in that in working with this coach or doing their courses or fill in the blank, whatever it is going to these seminars. Yeah. Yeah. I've done that a time or two

Pam:

probably why it's so clearly, right. There is a component of. It's really important. And in the work that we're doing to be able to there's this constant balance of is it me? Is it them? Is it me? Is it them? Is it me? Is it that what is this? Uh, I need to do some more work here or is this, uh, uh, I need to recognize, and I need to hear the words that it takes time. We talked about before we got on like the ability kids abilities to manifest things, right. And the power in, in childhood, because the belief is so firm, it just, it's just the way that things work. But our, our own inner stories. Gets in the way of that. I mean, I can, my, my daughter who is, will be 13 in a few weeks, I'm sure that by the time she's 15, there's going to be lots of things that she believes she's not capable of doing. Just because of the mere fact that she's 15. And because I remember being, I remember being 13 and having that, that story, but when you're sick, When you're playing with your imaginary friends and your ideas, or, this magical world yeah, it's a different, it's a totally different energy. So it makes sense that, kids, uh, hopefully not all kids, but it makes sense that hopefully kids have a little bit more peace, a little bit more joy. And the, because of the stories that we tell ourselves, the shift that happens, but yeah.

Janessa:

Yeah. And, and with that dance, so that's one of the questions that I. Really just digging into for myself right now, the dance between how to let it all be there, right? The joy, the play, the imagination, the woo, energy land, but also. As we've alluded to, I think a few times in this conversation, how to bring that through an action in really building something in the world. And so that's, that's what I'm playing with right now. And just recognizing, like I said, how. So many things that I've been through are now coming full circle, right? Like I can see how my corporate life is informing and influencing how I'm building my business. And that's sort of like a duh of course that's helpful, but, but it is, it's true. It's, it is different to take those frameworks and those strategies and apply it to what I'm really passionate about. Not just what a client. Yeah. And it's also acknowledging that these were parts of me, the astrologer, the, the writer, the poet, the dancer, like those are all still here too. And I really believe that the more we allow all of us to be here, that's when things start to unlock and become more. Because we're not wasting energy on just trying to suppress what we think shouldn't be here. And that that's when the magic I do feel really starts to build. And so that's where I'm at in my journey to answer your question to. It's really understanding with the coaching. I'm doing the astrology sessions I'm doing, I'm doing my second yoga teacher training certification right now becoming a personal trainer. So the Olympic weightlifting weightlifting's coming back and does a picture like all of this is in that journey. And I'll say it now, again, mostly for myself, but maybe for anyone else who's listening, who needs to hear it? It's okay. It takes time. This is like round two for me. And I'm recognizing that there's probably around 3, 4, 5, 6, onto infinity. We're always in this

Pam:

process. Right. And I really love what you said about like bringing all, allowing all the components of you to come together. And, and to celebrate them, to celebrate them. The dancer to celebrate the creator, the artist, the writer, the the astrologer, the, the, the business mind as well, right? Like the, the business person that, that exists in you as well, and, and being able to bring those together and celebrate, and you alluded to earlier on, you mentioned a little bit, that there was a timeframe where we push me to go that's not what I want, so I'm gonna push it away as hard as I can. And I love that you're coming to this place of okay, all of these. All of the pieces of me have value because well, they're pieces of me, right? I mean, that's a huge thing. And that's where the healing is when we stop grasping and we stop pushing away and we stop resisting and we stop, trying to control everything, all those things. Then the, the beauty kind of shows. And the healing can happen. And the and then the work that comes from that, I love to see people's journeys when they like go through. Significant events. And then they're like, oh, I got it. There's healing that has to come. This isn't necessarily the, the logical, like the actual cognitive process that happens. But I have this trauma, this experience, and now I have to do some healing and then the healing happens. And then what comes out? Like what, what blossoms from that healing is always in my experience is always so amazing. And sometimes we see it. We're like, oh, here's the path that I'm supposed to be on. And other times we still get stuck in that. This is what the world wants from me, or this is what my family wants from me, or this is what I expect from me and that kind of stuff. And that's a part of us

Janessa:

too. Yeah. So can, can we let that part of a speaker to, can I let that part of me be here? The part of me that that's still in difficult moments thinks, well, maybe I just go back to corporate because I know I can do that.

Pam:

She

Janessa:

serves a purpose. That aspect of me, she's trying to keep me safe. Cool. Check the box. Thank you, honey. You're trying to keep me safe and to be more in the driver's seat around that, to say, okay. I get it. I hear you. And what do we

Pam:

do? Yeah. And it's interesting because these are the conversations that we have with ourselves, but they're also the conversations we can have with other people and all people in our lives. We talked about early on before we got on the recording that I was like, you know that when you don't have other entrepreneurs, if you're an entrepreneur and you don't have other entrepreneurs around you, and you've got people that are telling you, don't do this, don't do that. You shouldn't do it this way. You should do it that way. Whatever it was, stories. People are telling you their opinions because they care right there. When your mother says to you, I think that's a terrible idea. If, because she's concerned about your wellbeing, right? Like when our parents, like my mom, my parents were like, yes, go get a master's degree and go go out there and do your thing and be successful because for them that meant they didn't have to worry about. And so I, I have this, like this funny, quick little anecdote that I closed my therapy practice, December 30th, 2021. I actually was going to close in 2020, and then COVID hit mental health crisis. And I was like, I cannot in good conscience, close a therapy practice right now. And I actually took out a bunch of more clients and let them know this is my end, but like you've got me for a year and a half. So I felt good about that. So I told my mother. That I was closing my therapy practice in probably August of last year. And then I told her in September, and then I told her in October, and then again in October and I mentioned it in November. And then I said in November, November again, and then I mentioned it again and then she wanted to know why we couldn't come down to the Cape where she is for Christmas vacation. And I said, because. That's my last week. I have clients that I need to see. And and she was like, oh, because of deductibles. And I was like, no, because I'm closing my therapy practice. And every time we had this conversation, she went, you're closing your therapy practice. Did you think that living in denial about me closing my therapy practice was going to mean that I wasn't going to close my therapy practice and what it all came down to is she worked well? She doesn't really understand. Like the coaching and any of that stuff. So she's she always says, what are you doing? What are you going to do again? Like when I was a therapist, she could say my kid's a therapist now. She's she does something. I don't know. I don't know. So, I mean, it's, it comes from a place of love, right? The people in your life and even your own, the components of yourself, it's coming from a place. If you can embrace it, it comes from a place of love, the relationship.

Janessa:

It does. It really does. And it feels more free then based on there's more choice around. Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. So,

Pam:

Janessa, what are you doing right now with people that you said you're doing coaching, you're doing, you have some you're offering astrology. Coaching consulting sessions, something along those lines. I don't know the words you're using for that.

Janessa:

They change it.

Pam:

I love it. So what are you offering right now? What are you the services that you're providing right now? Yeah, well, I

Janessa:

am so excited to be doing astrology again, as I mentioned, the first chapter for me of entrepreneurship was like, eh, rushed it maybe. And then I took a break for. Gosh, maybe a year or two, somewhere in there. I dabbled with becoming a therapist, actually. I'm sure we can have some conversations about that too. Cause that's a whole other world. And so

Pam:

I went to

Janessa:

grad school, left grad school. I was like, no, not for me. And I was still working through my own internal process around the loo and really embracing that part of. I thought going to become a therapist would solve that, right? Yeah. So now that I've come full circle and I'm just fully embracing the fact that I am an astrologer and I love the planets and the stars, I am so excited to be doing that work with people again. So part of what I do is astrology sessions. That can take a lot of different forms depending on if people are familiar with astrology, less familiar. Do they want to look at it purely from their birth chart perspective? Is there a particular area of life that they're curious about, or let's say they really want to dig into the energy of the upcoming mercury retrograde or Venus retrograde or things like that. So that's, that's exciting. I love doing that work with people and playing with energy and archetypes. Just using astrology as a way to better understand ourselves. I don't use it from a predictive stance. I don't believe in that. I really believe in our ability to sovereign beams to create a lot of our experiences. And so I see it as a way to just recognize. The parts of us, right? Cause I've used it for myself. That's part of the reason why I came back to astrology was I, I saw God, this is in my chart. Can I just embrace the fact that this is a really big part of who I am? I'm also launching a coaching program so that that's a more in depth experience where it's not just looking at astrology, it's using other modalities. And things that I've learned over the years, and it's more of a, for someone who's really going through a big transition or transformation and wants to have more frequent checkpoints around that and working on things like mindset, working on things like health and mean basically all the places that I feel like. In some way, shape or form like fucked up before and bringing that in, which is part of the reason why I'm doing the personal training and nutritionist certifications as well. Because I do believe we're starting to run low on time, but, but there, there is so much to talk about when it comes to the coaching world and how we, we sometimes leap to do the work with people without having the actual structure behind us and foundation underneath. And so that's why I'm taking time with that program because I'm recognizing I have more skills I'd like to develop there. But that coaching program is something that's available and coming to form. And I'm really interested to see how this yoga teacher training gets folded into that as well. So, because I have previous experience with yoga and meditation and breath work and all of that. So it's in the turning pot and seeing how that evolves. Yeah. And I have a Patrion as well and things like that out there in the world, but it's, yeah, it's a journey. It changes a little bit every day. I think that

Pam:

that's, uh, uh, I mean, I think for most of us, unless what you're doing, you've been doing specifically, eh, I wouldn't even, I don't even think that's accurate. So say unless you've been doing it for 20 years and you're like, this is the system, all the entrepreneurs that I know, regardless of whether they've been in business for two months, Or 40 years I think a really good sign, a good sign of a, uh, a sign of a really good entrepreneur is somebody that is willing to change is willing to evolve. And that, that shows up in the work that they're doing. That there's an evolution that they're constantly looking to grow personally. And so when they grow personally, that personal growth puts a different spin on whatever you're doing. Right. So if you're coaching people during a time where you're focusing on, you're in a, you're yourself in a yoga training, and you're not doing a yoga training, so it's not there, but you're like you sit and have a lecture on some, something in the uh, some sort of, you have a philosophy and you're like, Oh, well, I'm seeing this connection. Now, this thing that I was going to talk about, and then, then you bring in this philosophy that you just, that just kind of like triggered all these, these thoughts in your head. I mean, that's a sign of somebody that is, is doing their own work, right. Is doing, is wanting to evolve. And I think that's amazing. That's amazing.

Janessa:

Be okay with it being a little messy. Yeah. Yeah.

Pam:

I love that. I was just going to ask if you have any, like any, tips, any like little, like things that you want to share before we wrap up any this is my, my best tip or strategy or suggestion. If you're doing this

Janessa:

work. Oh, well, the phrase that immediately came to mind, it's not like super attractive or it doesn't get

Pam:

put

Janessa:

up on a pedestal, but I'm just going to go with it. Cause as you were asking me that question, the first phrase

Pam:

that appeared and it's meet yourself where you're at, right. Meet

Janessa:

yourself, where you're at and it's where you are is, is where you are. And the only way forward is to really start at that point. So take the pressure off of, of needing to figure it out or have the answers for how everything's going to unfold. Because ultimately if we just keep meeting ourselves where we are and we work with what's here, of course, keep that vision, keep that goal, keep that, that dream alive, fuel that. But I'm just recognizing more and more that things really do start to come together and pretty magical ways when we're willing to meet ourselves where we are.

Pam:

Yeah. Yeah. It's funny because that's one of the, one of the soul, the foundation patients of social work, right? One of the pillars is like meeting your clients where they are. And that's a term that I've used all the time with clients I've worked with over the years. Is that is to just, is really just to show up and meet yourself where you are today and stop worrying about where you think you should. It just, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter that whether you, whether we're talking about depression, anxiety, or like our mindset or our relationships or whatever that, or our business that whatever today is today is it doesn't matter what yesterday was. It doesn't matter what tomorrow is. You have to just do today as, as it unfolds. So I love that we'll

Janessa:

often our minds, that they're, they're the things that are creating where we think we should. And if we attach too much to that, like I've had so many experiences where it's like all of a sudden something pops out of the unknown. That was totally not on my radar. And it was exactly what I needed. And that's the piece about the presence? Yeah. Yeah. That's

Pam:

awesome. So where can our

Janessa:

listeners find you? Oh, where do I hang out? I hang out on Instagram. I hang out on YouTube. All of this, all these links are through my website, Janessa nickel.com. And it's pretty much just my name on all. So I fortunately have a pretty unique name.

Pam:

Perfect. So

Janessa:

that's where I tend to be. I have a mailing list, uh, that I send out little messages and videos and things that, that inspire me. If people are interested in connecting more related to astrology, YouTube is a great place to do that. Oh. And I also have my podcasts oh, yeah. That thing. Yeah. Where I tend to rant and rave about whatever is coming up in the moment

Pam:

and I love it. I love your energy. And so now I'm like, okay, I need to go, listen, I'm going to listen to that podcast on my way to pick up my kid at school. Yeah, that's awesome. Thank you so much. I will link all that stuff up in the show notes. So it's really easy for people to find if you're listening and you haven't looked at the show enough, just scroll down there. It is right at the bottom. It says links and all the links will be there. So, thank you so much for being here. I really appreciate your willingness to tell your story and to share your little golden nuggets with us and would love to I have in my mind that I'm going to be doing some mini series, uh, in the, within the podcast on different topics and, or I have your name has already been put on that mental

Janessa:

list. So

Pam:

so, thank you so much for being here. And guys, if you're listening and something really spoke to you in this episode and you want to share it with myself or Janessa, our Instagram handles are linked in the show notes. Take a picture of yourself, listening comments, share it with us on Instagram. We would love to hear from you. Thank you so much for listening. I appreciate the hell out of you guys, and I will see you next week.