The Peaceful Home

Episode 22: Heal Your Hustle: the Journey Through the Subconscious with Cheryl Kasper

April 22, 2022 Pamela Godbois
The Peaceful Home
Episode 22: Heal Your Hustle: the Journey Through the Subconscious with Cheryl Kasper
Show Notes Transcript

Welcome to Episode # 22 of The Out of Your Mind Podcast. Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to show up for yourself and tune in. 


In this week’s episode, we’re diving into the ins and outs of the subconscious, and the process to recognize and make the shifts that will allow you to find your path with Cheryl Kasper, therapist and mindset coach. 


Cheryl is a highly experienced International Success Mindset Coach, Clinical Therapist, and # 1 Best Selling Author. 

She works with high-achieving women to unlock their blocks so they can create more abundance, freedom, and flow without the hustle. 

Cheryl mixes 20+ years of psychology expertise and neuroscience with advanced hypnosis and energy work. This allows for deep subconscious healing, conscious mindset work, and energetic balancing for complete soul alignment. 

This is not your usual healing work! 

Cheryl has been from rock bottom to rock star. From $100,000 debt, overworking, and burnout. Cheryl has now created two successful businesses and is debt-free, all while working 3 days a week with ease. She truly understands what it takes to overcome fear, blocks, and limiting beliefs and take control back of her life with freedom and ease. Now, she coaches other women who are ready to radiate inner power, freedom, and flow to create the life they desire without overwhelm and hustle.


What inspired you in this episode? I’d love to hear from you. Take a screenshot, tag @pamgodboiscoaching, and @cherylkasper.mindsetcoach  on Instagram, and share something that resonated with you from this week’s episode with Cheryl Kasper.



Here’s a quick glance at this episode…


[00:03:05] Where Cheryl’s story began, and the early struggles in finding her path. 

[00:06:35] …and the desire to add coaching into her practice was born.

[00:08:50] The story of the subconscious, and how those stories impacted Cheryl’s life. 

[00:16:15] Awareness is the path to changing your life, so we begin with increasing awareness. 

[00:27:40] Making the shift from hustle to alignment. 


Rate, Review, & Follow on Apple podcasts at https://pamgodbois.com/ApplePodcast Leaving a review helps me to continue to create more content for entrepreneurs, just like you, looking to level up their life and business by stepping into alignment. Click here, scroll to the bottom, and tap “Write a Review” to get started.



Links: 

Website: https://cherylkasper.com



Let’s connect on Instagram, Facebook and Tiktok



Thank you so much for listening to this week’s episode. Be sure to tune in next week.


If you are loving these episodes, please consider donating to support the show.

The best thing you can do for yourself and your kids is effectively regulate your nervous system. And a great place to start >> to wire the brain for gratitude. Research tells us that gratitude increases happiness and a peaceful mindset. Make the shift and watch how things in your life start to change. Sign up today! www.pamgodbois.com/gratitude

Pam:

If you're someone who struggled to find peace and fulfillment in your life. If you feel like you're stuck on the same hamster wheel and cannot get off. The same stories coming up over and over again. You're not going to want to miss this episode Welcome back to episode number 22 of the out of your mind podcast. On today's episode. I had the chance to sit down with Cheryl Casper. And Cheryl shared with us the work that she does both as a therapist and mindset coach. And if you're ready to find the path to reprogramming the subconscious. Let's dive in Well welcome Charles. Thank you so much for being here. I really appreciate your willingness to be on the podcast and come and share your story and share all your little golden nuggets of wisdom that you have for us

Cheryl:

today. Awesome. Thank you for having me super excited.

Pam:

Yeah. So I was reading up on your story and we talked about this a little bit before I hit record the URA. You're a coach, you work with women on mindset and the inner stuff. And you're also an author and your journey has been an interesting one, for

Cheryl:

sure. Yes, it definitely has. So I

Pam:

would love for you to share with our audience what that journey has looked like for you. Sure.

Cheryl:

So I've been a therapist for. 20 something years. I don't want to date myself. And I love doing that. But I did it part-time so I was working full-time in a school up until a couple of years ago and I was just getting burnt out, working at school. Things have started to change over the years in a school district. And I just felt that I wanted more. So I started to build up my private practice and. It grew pretty rapidly. And before I knew it, I was working 60, 70 hours a week, really burning the candle at both ends. But my joy came from the backend of my day. So I'd work at school from seven until three. I'd go to my office to see my first client at three 30, wrap up around 8:30 PM. Get home a little bit after nine. And I did that for a couple of years. Until I really hit rock bottom and I burned out and I just couldn't do it anymore. I was missing sporting events with my children. I was disconnected from my husband. I was just miserable. I was in this dark place and I just felt stuck. Like I couldn't get out. So I had to make a choice. And I didn't know what choice to make. I didn't know whether I should leave the good stable school job where, it was at the top of my pay scale. I had a pension, I had the health benefits for my family to go do my private practice full time. And that's an unknown, if clients don't show up, I don't get paid, so it was a really scary decision. So I did make the decision to leave the school job. I told my husband, I remember the day very. Like it was yesterday. It was it was January. And I said to my husband, I want to leave school and build up my private practice. Now I'm a doer. So my husband's whoa, wait a minute. Let's think this out. Don't be putting your notice in tomorrow. So, we did the math, if I was not working 30 hours or actually it was 35 hours a week in a school, that's a full time. And I had. Amount of time to give to my private practice, what would my income be? And it was a no-brainer, it was a no-brainer. So I said, okay, I'm going to give myself one year by next January. I want to be out of the school so I can continue to hustle and work 60, 70 hours a week from January through June school ended in June. And I use that summer to build up my private practice. And the end of the summer came and I was supposed to go back to school in September. I'm like, oh my God. I'm like filled with clients. How now? How am I going to fit everybody in? So it was at that time that I gave my notice to school and I left in October. So I left earlier than originally planned. So that, that's what really started that big shift for me in transitioning to full-time therapist. And international success mindset coach. Yeah.

Pam:

How did the coaching piece come in? Because I totally get having worked at a community mental health center and doing the same guy. I left to go into private practice when I had a baby. I was like, okay, the baby's here is the natural transition. I'll just dive into this thing over here. And so I totally understand that. And I also understand how quickly a therapy practice can fill overnight. How did the transition into coaching happen?

Cheryl:

So it actually happened slowly. I met somebody at. A coach that I was coaching with a mentor that I was coaching with. And at that time he asked me to come out, I'm located in New Jersey. He asked me to fly out to Utah where he was. And just do a presentation talk to his people. And I loved it. And from there on wow, I can make such a bigger impact on people's lives than just the people that I see face-to-face in my office, in my community. So I'm like, wow, like this online space is incredible. And so I just started networking with people. I started, offering some value in these different women, entrepreneurial groups, and I grew my own my own following per se, people that I followed, people that followed me I've coached with some amazing female entrepreneurial coaches and as I'm coaching with them, they're not your typical business coach. They're more of healing coach. So I'm going to, I'm going to circle a little bit back backwards now. So when I was working the 60 to 70 hours a week, I was doing that because I thought that's what success was. I thought I had to hustle. I had to work hard. I had to work long hours to be successful because that's what I saw my own mother do. My mother had her own business. My mother worked. Probably 20 out of 24 hours a day. And that's what I grew up believing. She didn't say it to me, but I saw that and I created that unbelief in myself. And when I was doing my own healing work with my coach as a coach, I realized, oh my goodness, this is not my belief. This is a belief that I adopted from my mother. Maybe she saw her mother. And her mother do it, so once I started to heal that that just freed me up. I'm like, wow, there is a different way to be successful without having to hustle and overwork and burn yourself out. Yeah.

Pam:

Yeah. I love that recognition. The stories that we adopt, right? Not the things, not the, and like you said, your mother didn't say to you, Hey, Cheryl, if you want to be successful in life, you have to work 20 out of 24 hours a day. It was just what was modeled. And so often what is mean that we know from a neurological perspective, that's so much more powerful than what somebody says to you. Right. And especially as children and especially when that person or those people are your carrier. Are there people that you look up to, when pre-verbal, when you're really young oh my mom's a hero. Look at this, these things that she's doing. Yeah it's an interesting. It's an interesting, our brains are interesting that way. Right. But that they develop these stories and then you carry that into adult.

Cheryl:

Oh my gosh, we carry it 30, 40, 50 years. Some people carry it for an entire lifetime and they repeat the same cycles over and they wonder why they're self-sabotaging right. It's because of those subconscious, underlying beliefs. Right. And once you're able to uncover. And change them around. Your whole life begins to change. And when I work with people online coaching, one of the things that I do is I do hypnosis. I do hypnotherapy. I'm trained in advanced hypnotherapy, different modalities of it. And when we, they come to me with an issue and we regress back to the root cause of that issue, 99.9% of the time, it's from early childhood it's beliefs that we've adopted. From our parents, our caregivers, our grandparents, sometimes there's linear generational lineage of things that have been passed down. And once they can see that through hypnosis and recognize, oh my gosh, like that's not my belief or that's not me anymore. I'm not a little girl having to keep this false belief alive in me, then we're able to change it. We're able to make these new. Connections in our brain and really transform the way we do life from now on. Right.

Pam:

Right now, in your story, you talked about like not being at your kid's sporting events, being, feeling disconnected from your husband. Was it just shifting jobs? Because, I mean, if you're saying. Your belief system was that you had to basically hustled to your eyes bleed in order to be successful. I would imagine that just cutting out one job and filling in those hours in the other job, it was not the healing practice to bring your back connected to your family. So what was the work that you

Cheryl:

did? I did hypnosis. I did hypnosis. I had my coaches were all hypnotherapists. And I worked with my coach for a couple of years to really undo all of the beliefs that I believed. Right. Reverse them. If we created beliefs, we can un-create beliefs. Yeah. Was it a quick process? No. Hypnosis is much quicker than traditional face-to-face therapy much quicker, but now I have to. So, so you make these new beliefs in your mind. Now you have to take action to carry those, change your habits, your behaviors, or patterns that you've been used to all of this time. So leaving the job was the catalyst for me to do my own hands. And I'm still doing my own healing. I'm still working on it because what happens is, or this is what I'm finding. We, we, at every stage of our business, when we grow and we Uplevel and we get to that next level, you hear the phrase new level, new devil. We come up against. Some sabotage, our imposter syndrome kicks in, Ooh, are we really able to do this? Oh, R or do we really do? I really deserve to make XYZ amount of money because I'm already making this money, so a lot of things start to creep in that you have to be consciously aware of and continue to do your own work at every level. Yeah.

Pam:

Yeah. And I, I also find that. The idea that the, it becomes, always becomes visual for me seeing like these levels, like you're climbing a mountain or something, right. I can see these different like levels of slogging through and okay, I got this one figured out. All right. All right. I got 20 seconds of peace and then I'm going to grow to the next level. And then, oh, there's more. And I also find, and I'm curious about your experience with this. For instance, if your belief system comes from the people that are around you, right. If that's where you've adopted it from, and those people are still around, you still saying the same things about you, about them, about your ability to succeed in whatever way. That's going to be another Yeah. Another layer for sure. Yes.

Cheryl:

For sure. It's a huge challenge. It's a huge challenge. So for me personally I started to detect so understanding that this is their belief and not mine. I was able to detach a little bit, but there was judgment on their part that. They were judging me for what I was doing, decisions that I was making. And, at that point I needed to make a decision, I detached a little bit further from them. And I don't put myself in positions where I allow them to judge me for what I do and the choices that I made. Yeah, but that is D that is another layer and it's a very difficult layer. And that's where, continuing to do my own work. Really helps with that. Yeah.

Pam:

So what, so you used hypnosis to uncover these beliefs, right? What is the work that you do to maintain that or to nurture that or to keep yourself grounded or, any of the other things that come up in the day-to-day for you? What are some kind of I guess, practices for lack of better term that you're still using today on that healing journey?

Cheryl:

So I still use. I make recordings for myself. My, my colleagues, my mentors we'll make recordings during session. And I listened to that for about three weeks, four weeks to really solidify the. In my mind. And I'm always consciously aware when I come up with feeling resistance to something that I'm doing in my life or resistance to launching a course or a program or doing a Facebook live, I have to really sit with that and say, what is going on? Where's this resistance coming from, usually it's fear based resistance. What am I afraid of? And then I will do that work. Whether it's energy work, whether it's conscious work, whether it's meditation, whether it's journaling, whether it's reaching out to my mentor, I'm consciously aware of all of my steps that I'm doing.

Pam:

Yeah. And it sounds like a big, I mean the big first company. Is the awareness piece, right? Like you've gotta be aware, not just of the subconscious beliefs in the subconscious mind and what's going on there. We've got to be aware of how it's showing up in your day to day so that you can make, I know you talked about people getting stuck in the same patterns, the same relational patterns, the same situational patterns over and over. And it's when there's awareness in play, you can go, oh yeah. There's that

Cheryl:

thing again? Yes. Awareness is the first step to change. Yeah, we can't change what we're not. Right. But some people get stuck in a victim mindset. Well, I'm not succeeding because look what they're doing to me, or I can't do this because you're not doing that. Right. You have to be aware of it and take ownership of what you have control over changing. We don't have control over changing anybody else in our life, but we have control over what we change and how we react to the other people in our life. Yeah. And that's.

Pam:

Yeah, it is. It is. And I would imagine that doing this work yourself has made some major shifts in the relationships that are in your life, like your own personal relationships. Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. And that's. That's fantastic. Cause I, I feel like so often as entrepreneurs and as women in general we take ownership of things that we don't own and test, and we go, I can't do anything about the things that we do own, but we can do something about it's like such an interesting.

Cheryl:

It is, and that is lineage. That's passed onto us from generation to generation. Right. And the, all the people that I work with at, when we uncover through hypnosis they're blocks, they are the change-makers for themselves and their generations moving forward. Right. It's the ripple effect. Like when we throw that stone in the water, it makes that ripple, when women hear. We heal the world. Yeah. Like we are the change-makers.

Pam:

Yeah. That's so beautiful and such a beautiful, like image of like the ripple. I always think I have this weird image that pops into my head from I don't know, something, some beautiful piece of art that I saw or something with the ripples. That's what always comes up for me. But so other than. Hypnosis. Are there other ways that you found that you're working with people? Like, Do you do hypnosis everybody you work with or are there other strategies that you use to uncover some of the unconscious or subconscious mind and some of the beliefs and unpacking that

Cheryl:

stuff? Yeah. Gnosis is definitely the vehicle to get to the subconscious really quick. We can clear out the root cause. Of a single issue in one session. Right. So it's super powerful. So I use a mix of conscious mindset work, subconscious healing and energy work. Okay. I use a mix of all three and it's three different layers that we're healing on. It's not just one. You can't heal. You can't just make conscious. Changes because the subconscious drives it. So you have to make the conscious mindset changes. You have to do the subconscious healing work to change the conscious thoughts. And you have to do the energetic work. Because like I said, before, things are passed down to us. They're in ourselves or in our DNA's Epogen genetics, so we have to start doing some energy work. And when you really tune into your body, And you say, okay, what is this resistance that I'm feeling? What is this fear that I'm feeling? Where do I feel it in my body? Sometimes we may feel it in our throat, right. And we're coughing or we're clearing our throats, right? Because we're afraid to speak our voice where we're afraid to speak our truth. So, that's something that you need to work on. Maybe we'll feel it in our belly or stomach or powerhouse or sacral chakra, okay. This is some work that we need to do here, to clear it. Maybe you feel ungrounded or unbalanced or just off a little bit. Well, where are you feeling it? That's your root chakra? That's your stability, your safety in life, so I really work on three different levels to clean. All of the imprints on each level. That's amazing.

Pam:

And one of the things that you and I were talking about is that you're doing right now is you're helping female entrepreneurs, right? Heal this hustle. Yeah, mentality, this hustle shit that we carry around. What does that kind of work look like when you're talking about, cause you're saying like there are these layers and you're you do this work, but then how does that relate to like business and entrepreneurship and this whole like hustle mess that I, yeah, I'm on the same page as you, as far as heal that shit because it's not helpful.

Cheryl:

It's actually called the hustle cold. Yeah. There's this, we're in this hustle culture that we just do right. We're pushing and that's really coming from a masculine energy. Yeah. Right. So we're overworking, we're burning out. That's where I was a couple of years ago. I was coming from that masculine energy that doing and pushing. And when you realize this and you recognize it, you're like, wait a minute. There is another way that I can be successful without hustle. With just slowing it down a little bit with really coming from more of a feminine perspective and a feminine energy and just allowing things to flow without trying to push them so hard. So I work with women to heal their hustle, and there are four types of hidden hustle, archetypes that I found. There's the people pleaser, the overachiever, the procrastinator, and the juggler, and they all have their own characteristics and they all have their own beliefs that are driving that. So once they're able to uncover that and be like, oh my God, I can't believe that I was hustling because I. Not worthy. Or I felt like an imposter in my business. So I had to get another certification, another degree, another training, and other course that you probably have not even completed. Right. So I work with, so, I mean, I'm I am a recovering overachiever. I have done that. I have to admit to that. But once you're aware, then you can start to heal that whole. Yeah. And come from a place of feminine energy with freedom with flow.

Pam:

Yeah. Can you talk a little bit about for those of our audience that is not aware of the difference between the masculine and the feminine energy, because sometimes people think you're talking gender and I know you, but you're not, but can you share a little bit about what that, what those

Cheryl:

differences look like? Yeah. So the masculine energy is when we're pushing, we're doing where we're, over-giving, where we're at a place where things are hard. Right. It's a place where if you continue to function in a masculine energy, you're going to hit a wall. You're going to burn out. You're going to, your energy is going to be depleted. You're going to be exhausted because you're not allowing yourself to rest or recover when you're functioning from the feminine energy. It's more of just being, instead of doing right. Allowing yourself to take breaks, take naps slow down a little bit, honoring your boundaries in your work in your life. And it's just allowing things to flow a little bit more naturally rather than pushing all the time. When you're aware of the masculine energy, that's driving success and your feminine energy, we can marry them like the yin and the yang. And when you have a balance between the masculine and feminine energy, that's where the flow happens. That's where you just feel like in total alignment with, wow. I understand. I don't have to push, I don't have to hustle. I can still be a success and successful with just slowing down a little bit.

Pam:

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I love the, I always love that those terms and I really embrace those terms way back when I became a yoga teacher and I was like, wait, this is not gender. This is wait, what is this? And understanding. That we all have both masculine and feminine energy. And an example of the masculine energy was you working 80 hours a week? Yes. Push, keep going. It doesn't matter if you're burning out. It doesn't matter if your life is not exactly what you want it to be. You just keep going forward at full force. And that's where, yeah. That's where burnout happens for

Cheryl:

sure. And that's where, I talk about the three layers. The conscious mindset, the subconscious healing and the energy work and energy work is on all different levels. It's balancing the energies and asking them the feminine, the shock was, what are you feeling in your body? Energy psychology stuff. So it's just deeper than, the chakras.

Pam:

Yeah. Yup. Awesome. That's cool. So all of the stuff that you do. Is informing the work that you're doing now. Right. And what is that looking like? What are you doing any, you said you're working with women, you're doing some healing stuff, but you also have something that you have a program that's launching pretty soon. What's the kind of work that you're doing in what you're offering.

Cheryl:

So what I'm offering, my, my course is called heal. Your. And it's based on. Yeah, I love it too. I just love it. It's based on my six pillar fierce to freedom framework. So we really go through, we start at myths and mindset. We start at what are the beliefs that we've adopted throughout our lives. To create the beliefs that we have now. So we work on healing those, and then I just take you through each step, conscious mindset, work, subconscious healing and the energy work. So at the end of the six weeks, you're in a completely different place than where you started. You have such a deep understanding of why you do what you do. Yeah. And infused in that is some energy work is some EFT, emotional freedom. Tapping is a couple of them. Hypnosis in there. So it's really, you get me as the coach, as the therapist, you have six modules that are dropped weekly, but you can do them at your own pace and you have the subconscious healing. You have the recordings of the hypnosis. So it's really deep work.

Pam:

Yeah, that's awesome. So you still have a therapy. I do. Do you do some of the same kind of work in therapy? Are you doing more more like traditional, like cognitive behavioral or DBT or that kind of stuff? Or are you throw it all in the bowl,

Cheryl:

mix it up. I throw it all in the ball and the bowl throw it all in the bowl. It depends. It depends. Do you like to have a lot of tools in my toolbox because people are not a one size fits. All right. So somebody may come in for traditional therapy and we may do traditional therapy. We may do some EMDR work or sampling or neurofeedback. And then I'm like, why don't we throw in a little bit of energy work or tapping, or why don't we throw in a hypnosis, so I'm constantly going through my bag of tools to help my clients the best that I can.

Pam:

It doesn't surprise me that you're certified and all those things either. Since you said that overachieving was your archetype, you're like I'm certified in everything under the sun. Do you think of it? I'm probably certified in it. Yeah.

Cheryl:

And that's why I said I am a recovering because I'm done with the certifications. I know my stuff.

Pam:

Yeah. Yeah. That's awesome. That's awesome.

Cheryl:

So I also have I also have. Quiz that's out. So if somebody wants to find what their hidden hustle archetype is, it's a two-minute quiz. And I can give you the link to that. And they can discover what is their hidden hustler archetype, and what can they do about it? How can they start to heal that's so

Pam:

valuable because I think that we, I think to some degree we do these things, like we're like, I want to know this thing about myself. And so we gave it a little bit of awareness, but it's not a deep enough awareness that we. That we personally know how to take action, right. That we haven't unpacked that. And so when something like this, where you have a quiz that starts to guide you, like here, take some of these steps, some of these actions that's so valuable.

Cheryl:

Yeah. Well that's because we're recalling information from our conscious mind. Yeah, right. The subconscious is I call it like a vault where there's a little key and it's there to keep us protected. It's there to keep us safe. It's there so we don't get hurt. Right. So we can't always access the subconscious we can through hypnosis because our conscious mind is asleep in our brain waves are slower. But that's where all the magic. That's when you can unlock that door to that subconscious vault and take out all of those negative beliefs, those beliefs that have been driving you in the background and say, Hey, this is not me anymore. I don't need you anymore. This is, these are old beliefs.

Pam:

Yeah. Yeah. And I was just, I was having a conversation with somebody the other day around this idea of words and that words matter. Yeah, right. What we say, if we're walking around going, like I'm a procrastinator, I'm a, I'm bad with technology or I'm not a good writer, whatever. I don't like that. I don't like the sound of my voice, whatever the thing is that is attached to old stories. If we continue to say it, we continue to be it

Cheryl:

exactly because our mind, it will believe whatever we tell it. It has no idea what's real or not real. So if you continue to say I'm a procrastinator, or I'm never going to be able to start my own business, you know what you're right? Because your mind is going to give you evidence to prove you. Right. Right. The other thing talk about energy is words have a vibration. So when you talk about procrastination or worry or fear, those are low vibrational words. And it's going to keep you in that low vibrational state. That's why affirmations are so powerful. When you say I am successful. I am lovable. Those are high vibration words, and your mind is taking it in believing that is you at this moment.

Pam:

Right. I always say your mind's really gullible. So be careful what you tell it.

Cheryl:

Exactly. Yeah. It's

Pam:

interesting too, because the, the work, I think back to, you talk about resistance when a resistance arises and that you have said I'm not perfect. I'm still doing this work. It's not like it doesn't end. And I say the same thing all the time. I recall a time early in the pandemic when I was here, I was having all these friends. So obviously I'm a therapist. They had a PR therapy practice at that time as well. I don't know about you, but my therapy practice, like ridiculously everybody needed to be in therapy and I just kept going. Yeah. Okay. So I was so busy all day, every day. Nevermind the coaching stuff. And I, I was hearing all these people talking about cleaning the closets. I got nothing to do in COVID I'm cleaning my closet and I found myself feeling really envious that I didn't have this. To clean my closet because causes are always a mess, right? Like they're all of our stuff. There's a reason. I always say there's skeletons in our closet. Most of us, I live in an old house that don't have big closets to begin with. So everything just gets shoved in there. And I specifically remember a time I was working up to a launch and I had some things that I need some copy that I needed to send off to some. My marketing person for this launch and it was freezing in my house. So it, obviously it must have been winter. So I went upstairs to grab slippers out of my closet and I opened my closet door to grab the slippers. And I was like, wow, it's a man. I should go get the vacuum. And like that, there's all this it's hard wood should vacuum up the sand. That's in here from all the shoes that have been thrown in and I really should clean that stuff out. And I got to that place. I really should clean up those clothes. And I was like, I'm avoiding the thing I don't want to do, which is. I slammed the closet door and ran downstairs and sat for the copy. But if I had that, had I not been aware of that my closet would have been spotless because I'm really good at doing that. Right. So it's funny, these things that come up that we don't even realize or even if we've done the work, even if we've done some of the subconscious work, it's these things still creep

Cheryl:

in these little, always creep in, they test us. It's like a little. How are you going to handle me now? Right, right. They're always going to creep then, but that's where you have to be consciously aware of them. Be like, okay, just reevaluate. What's going on right now? Why am I feeling this? What is what's happening in my life, my world, my family, my environment, and just like you said, become aware once you're aware of it, then you can start to make those shifts. Yeah,

Pam:

absolutely. So. For people that are listening that are like wanting to start some of this work or want to dive in or Hey, I've got some I'm living in the hustle world. I'm, my subconscious is driving me. I keep getting stuck in these same patterns, themselves, sabotaging whatever. What would be your like best suggestion, your like go-to thing for them to get started on some of this work?

Cheryl:

Well, I would say for them to make a list of the things that they're feeling stuck in, that they want to work on. And then sit on that, what why can't you push through this? Where is this resistance coming from? Where is this belief coming from? Where is this fear coming from? And once you can understand that you can start to do the work you can journal that definitely works. But when you seek out somebody like a coach to really help you process that, or even a therapist, or, honestly, I'm all for a hundred, I'm a hundred percent for hypnotherapy. And I don't know why they didn't teach it in graduate school because, well, I know why they didn't teach it in graduate school because therapists, We'd be able to heal people much, much quicker, so hypnotherapy will definitely get to the root cause of these issues very quickly. But being aware of the self-sabotage and the patterns that are going on in your life and acknowledging them and be like, okay, now, what am I gonna, how am I going to deal with this? What am I going to do? Sometimes we can't do it on our own. We can't, sometimes you need another set of eyes looking in to see the problem a little bit clearer. Yeah. And I think that's

Pam:

okay. I think that the thing we get stuck in is that's somehow that's not okay. It's not how it's a failing. Find a therapist or find a coach or get some support. We wait until we're like, curled in the fetal position sobbing because he can't do it anymore.

Cheryl:

And where you waiting until you're working 70 hours a week and your family's crumbling and you're miserable and burnt out. Yeah. And by then, it's too late. Well, it's not too late, but you've crossed a threshold.

Pam:

You've missed some opportunities along the way,

Cheryl:

for sure. A lot of opportunities around the way that could have prevented the extreme.

Pam:

Right. Right. Are there any tips you have on recognizing. The red flags of that stuff. Cause I feel like sometimes I I know for myself back in the day when I thought puzzling was the way not just. I didn't, hadn't done the awareness work and wasn't didn't know, but like red flags that go oh shit, you need to, there's a need to open up that journal and start some of this work. You need to call somebody, you need to start reflecting on some of these questions. So I think sure. Some of our listeners might be like, yeah, man, I'm going to do some of this work. Maybe sometimes we're like, no, I'm good. I'm good. I don't, I'm fine.

Cheryl:

Well, I always start with, what is your goal? What is your. What is your goal for what is your long-term goal? I start with the long-term goal and then I work back the reverse engineering, okay. So in one year you want to, let's just say, have your own business. Okay. Well then what do we need to do for the next six months? What do we need to do for the first six months? What do we need to do monthly? What do we need to do weekly? What do we need to do daily to get there? And if we've done that we've reversed engineered from whatever your goal is. Short-term or long-term goal, and you're not able to meet those daily and weekly goals. There's little tiny stepping stones to get there. That's your big red flag that you've got something going on, that's blocking you. Yeah.

Pam:

And I think that I love that you use the, looking at the business, but I think we, same thing holds in relationships, right? If you've got I've got an almost 13 year old, she keeps reminding me, she's going to be 13 in a month. And you can, we see it show up in our kids. We see it show up in our relationships with our spouses or, maybe we're a little bit more irritable or maybe we're a little bit more. And if your goal. Going back to what's your larger goal? So like a year from now. So, February, March of 20, 23, What do I want to have happening in my life? What do I want my relationships to be like, we can look at any aspect of our life and say, what do I, 12 months from this day, whatever this day is, what do I want that to be like? And what do I need to do to get there? Right? So if I want a loving relationship, or if I want to feel connected, then telling people to go screw themselves is probably not going to be helpful.

Cheryl:

I will not be helpful. But then what do you have to do? What do you have to have. Each month, each week, each day to have a more loving relationship, say it's with a partner, just maybe even just sitting at dinner time together, eating and communicating, that will be your daily step to get you to that bigger goal. Yeah. It could be something very simple.

Pam:

Yeah. I love that. And I love it. That the strata, the things that you're doing, the work that you're doing, that people, it, yes, it helps us as entrepreneurs in growing our business, but it also helps us. Yes. Our relationships and our relationship itself, our relationship with, and I say that everything's a relationship, right? Your relationship with your business, your relationship with, the larger world the community that you live in, the online community, that you're part of whatever. It helps with on it can help on all of those planes. That's that

Cheryl:

ripple effect. Yeah. It starts with you. And the changes that you make, it's that ripple effect, throwing that, that stone into the water and just, it affects every area of our life.

Pam:

Yes. Yeah. Because everything else outside of us is just a reflection of us anyway. Absolutely. Awesome. So Cheryl, where can people find you?

Cheryl:

So they can find me on my website. Cheryl, casper.com C H E R Y L K a S P E r.com. They can also find me on my Facebook and my Facebook group, fearless success, the feminine way and on Instagram. Success mindset, coach Cheryl, Casper success mindset,

Pam:

coach. Awesome. I will link all that stuff up in the show notes so that they can find you easily. So thank you. I appreciate you so much and really enjoyed our conversation. Thank you so much for being

Cheryl:

here. Oh, thank you so much for having me. Yeah.

Pam:

And guys, if you're listening and something spoke to you in something you want to share with us and tell us about I will link up both of our Instagrams in the show notes and you can let us both know take. A screenshot of you listening to this episode and share it with us, who would love to know how this episode has impacted you. So thank you so much for being here this week. I appreciate you more than you can ever know. And I look forward to see you guys next week. Take care.

If you were someone that struggled to find true inner peace.