The Peaceful Home

Episode 27: Learning to Embrace the Ebb & Flow of Life with Siri Hoffman

May 13, 2022 Pamela Godbois
The Peaceful Home
Episode 27: Learning to Embrace the Ebb & Flow of Life with Siri Hoffman
Show Notes Transcript

In this week’s episode, I had the opportunity to sit down with my dear friend and supporter of women everywhere, Siri Hoffman. Whether body, mind, or spirit Siri is guiding us all to slow down, take a breath, and tap into our awareness and trust. As a mama of 3, Siri is well versed in the struggle of doing it all and has found ways to simply walk the path in a way that aligns for herself, her family, and her clients. 


Siri Hoffman is a Lover of Life, Seeker of Laughter, Mama, Entrepreneur, Yoga Teacher, Massage Therapist, Wellness Enthusiast, and Lifetime Student. She strongly believes we all deserve to be supported and to know how to support ourselves with tools for self-care, mindfulness, intention setting and the ability to manifest our intentions through action and awareness. She believes deeply in the vast capacity of our hearts, that love is stronger than fear, and that we are more powerful and capable than we could ever imagine. Siri believes that through conscious movement, yoga practice, affirmations, self-care, and the practice of simply paying ATTENTION, we can truly impact and empower ourselves to show up as the best version of ourselves every day.


If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device and post it to your Instagram Stories and tag us, @pamgodboiscoaching and @siri.hoffman.


In this episode you’ll hear:

  • Siri shares the stories that got her to where she is at on her journey, and the understanding that like nature we are beings that align with the seasons' ebb and flow. 
  • The struggle is created from over-doing, hustling, and pushing towards big things, and missing out on the stuff that matters. 
  • Learning to identify your own signs that Shit is not going so great! 
  • How shifting from a doing phase of life to a being phase of life shifts your life, business and relationships. 
  • What to do when you are stuck on the hamster wheel and how to get off and embrace joy. 
  • Siri talks about the impact of energy exchanges, and how having the right people in your life can help you feel better energetically. 
  • She discussed the challenges of running a successful business and parenting 3 children and actually taking care of yourself!
  • We discuss practices to find more joy, decrease stress and embrace the things you want in life. 




LINKS:

Siri’s Website: https://sirihoffman.com


Siri’s Instagram & Facebook


Connect with me:  Instagram, Facebook, and Tiktok


If you’re like “I love listening to Pam chat with guests.” Then head over and write a review! We really appreciate your support and it helps us to keep growing!!  https://pamgodbois.com/ApplePodcast Thank you so much for listening to this week’s episode. Be sure to tune in next week.



The best thing you can do for yourself and your kids is effectively regulate your nervous system. And a great place to start >> to wire the brain for gratitude. Research tells us that gratitude increases happiness and a peaceful mindset. Make the shift and watch how things in your life start to change. Sign up today! www.pamgodbois.com/gratitude

Pam:

Are you a Dewar who prides herself on how many boxes you check in a day? Or maybe you're someone that aspires to be a Dewar who can get all the boxes checked. And instead just feels bad about yourself for not getting there. What if I told you. That the real measure of success is your ability to simply be, to be in the moment to be in the experience. And in being. Everything around you will expand. This is the conversation that I had the opportunity to have with my dear friend, Siri Hoffman on this episode. So if you are a mom or a woman trying to run your own business, manage a household and do all the things. And you're struggling. This is the episode for you. So let's just dive straight in Siri. Thank you so much for being here. So excited to have you on the podcast. So you are going to share with us today. So stoked, you are like myself, a self-work, junkie, do the inner work, like focused look at what you're doing, personal growth, all that stuff. We've talked about this through the timeframe that we've known each other and align on a lot of things. And I love that right now. Some of what you're talking about is this idea of honoring your own seasons or. How we, there's an ebb and flow for us. And so I'm excited to talk about that. And I'm also really excited to hear your story, the work that you've been doing and what that story has looked like where you started out to where you are now. I would love for you to share. That with us?

Siri:

Yes. Oh, I'm so happy to be here, Pam. I love you so much. Gosh, so you want me to just sort of dive into my current story, my story it's like multi, multiple lifetimes stories, like the cat, the nine lives of cats. Right. So. A little background in terms of myself and what I do and who I am. So I am a, I would say I'm a lover of life and the inner work, and then a work junkie I'm going to use that phrase. That's a great phrase. I'm a bodyworker and a yoga teacher. I'm a social marketing professional, a mom of three lifetime student of all things I love absorbing and learning. And I love giving. I love. Teaching yoga. I love the healing process with my massage therapy clients. I love helping people just come into themselves, recognize themselves, remember themselves whether that's through movement, whether that's through teaching themselves and giving people tools to heal their body, whether it's pain or injuries or energetic work. I love listening. I like hearing people's stories. And also just like human conversation, like this is right here. So, I have my own massage and yoga business and another health and wellness business. So I work from home as many people do at the moment. And I am a as Pam and I were sort of just chatting before we started recording this. I think I've been spending decades in a doing phase in producing things and creating things and giving and giving and giving and giving and the entrepreneurial and health and wellness life is so much of that. It's so much energy output and In this particular season that I'm in right now there was kind of like this gut punch a few months ago, that sort of said, all right. So you're creating all these things and you're creating this container for women and doing a lot of mindset work with people and affirmations and teaching them how to breathe. And it was like a, are you doing that to yourself? Are you doing that for yourself? Are you actually doing that work that you're offering? And there was like a resounding no, you're not. And so it was like, I, I have always considered myself, someone who's really inspired and who loves to create and is I'm a people person, but there was this void that I was not doing my own work. I was not doing the work that. Was offering to others and there just comes a point where there, then there's nothing that you're really giving and it's exhausting. It's exhausting. So I was almost like I had to look at my own life's puzzle. Right. If you see we think of our life has this like pretty miraculous, confusing and amazing and crazy shit show of a puzzle. It's kind of like. What pieces are fitting together here, what aren't like, where are the missing pieces? Where are the pieces that like are in my kid's car seat? Like under all the snacks, to what ones are right in front of my face. And just saying kind of like pausing. I think it's one of my favorite words. I use it a lot when I teach yoga is pause and it scares a lot of people. It scares me too. You're like, Oh, okay. What's going to happen in the stillness and in the quiet, but when we like give ourselves permission to pause, we can start to look at what needs to come out of this puzzle. What do I literally need to take away? And do I even need to add something like how about creating just some space for healing space, for reflection space for spontaneous creativity. Rather than feeling oh my gosh, I like, I, I have to get a new class out there. I have to coach another person. I have to get another client on board. I have to I have to post, oh my gosh, I haven't added value on social media. God forbid this hour. So. It's the, this for me has been the season of the pause. And it's been a powerful one. It's been a really scary one too, in a good way. Because I've just really intentionally and each day, like each day is just saying like, how can I create some more space today and simplify things. We are a culture. Over-complicates like every moment of every day, even our own thoughts, we're like, let's make our brains as confused as possible, right? Like that monkey mind. And so, I think of us all as like the small little pebble in a really large pond. And if we can just drop in a little bit and start to create a ripple effect, when we can say, I'm going to give myself permission to pause today, you give up. People permission to, and we are humans in that are meant to live in community. And that's really important. Yeah. How did you realize was there like a moment or was there like a collection of moments or how did you realize. Oh, shit. I need to pause and I need to shift the focus inward instead of continually be giving to everybody and everything in my world. Yeah. I don't think I don't, I can't recall like a very specific and clear moment. I think it was actually, I'm not going to say unfortunately, but it was like kind of a snowball effect. And I think it was sort of a. An accumulation of just overdoing over hustling over overthinking, letting my own self doubt and negative thoughts creep in on a daily basis. So I think that when I recognized, when I knew that was happening, but I knew I needed to start making a shift, first of all, I had to be really kind to myself to say, You're not just going to figure this out. Like you're not just going to tomorrow, wake up and be like, oh, I'm going to, I'm just going to dive in to this inner work right now. And it's just going to be there and it's going to, I'm going to just do it. It was like a day-to-day even moment by moment permission and acknowledgement. But when I started to see around me, like my connection to my husband, my connection to my kids, it like. I was clearly distraught, I guess you could say I could not put on a face, like I'm not authentically a connect, like a very person who likes to connect anyway, but it was like the connections were happening in the wrong way. And so when I started feeling the people closest to me, like my closest people, my family, my closest friends, when I started feeling like a real disconnect there, I knew that if I can't connect to the people that are most important to my world, My three kids and my husband. I shouldn't be allowed to connect.

Pam:

Something's wrong here

Siri:

sometimes right here. Yeah. Yeah.

Pam:

Yeah. I love that because I think so often as human beings, especially as women and as entrepreneurs, we have this idea that when he's like, go, go, go, go, go. And we missed the. And then we, all of a sudden, we're like in this tornado of a shit storm where we're like, I hate my spouse and I've been there. I hate my spouse. My kids drive me crazy. I don't want to talk, oh God, my mother's calling me or my mother or whatever. Like all the people that are. That are normally the people that you want to, sit and watch a movie with that you want to go on vacation with that you want to have experiences with are all like, Ugh, why are you bothering me? Stop it. It's a really good. Indication that

Siri:

shit's not going so well

Pam:

because when we're not connected to ourselves,

Siri:

we can't connect to anybody else. Right? No we can't. And that you just saying, I mean that we miss the signals when we get in such due mode and we're on our own hamster wheel. It's true. It's like we lose, we completely lose our peripheral vision and like our big picture, like our Eagle vision. And it's interesting this, these last couple of months I've been having the most amazing red tail Hawk sightings to this morning. My drive, I saw a bald Eagle. Wow. Like three months from three months ago. Like I would have been so focused on the road ahead and like my brain and my thoughts. I wouldn't have, I probably wouldn't have seen it. And it's true when we start to be like, I'm, I am missing the signals. And then when we pause and start to see the signals again, it's wow. It's like simple and profound and in so important.

Pam:

Yeah. And you said you kind of noticed you noticed that the shift needed to happen and then.

Siri:

You kind of offered yourself some grace and kindness and let you take the

Pam:

smaller steps and all those steps allow those things to essentially accumulate. But what did that work look like? Like how did you go from doing all the time to actually pausing? Because as a, I mean, I've, I have a lot of practicing beings, but I am like historically. Yeah in the eye. And I can imagine I've sat with plenty of doers in my life to know that the idea of hitting the pause button is horrifying. It feels that way anyway, like the world's going to end if I'm not doing so then what, so what does that

Siri:

process look like for you? Yeah. I mean, to a certain extent that there were some. That had to have had to become consistent and other things that it just depends on the day. And I think those things are important. So in terms of the consistent things for me, and again, I had to remind myself to keep it simple because I am also someone who tends to take on more than I can chew and be like, I'm going to take all the courses in this meditation immersion, and then, and it's, and then you're like, ah, that's not really sustainable either. So it's kind of just, I think what. Like every morning I try to, and sometimes I do this at night too, because it kind of helps us just to sort of step back and literally I know this sounds so not some bolts, but look like, look at my calendar for the next day and the week and be like, all right. What's what are my priorities here? What absolutely has to happen? Do my kids have to be like driven to school? Yes, they do. They're not going to drive themselves. So there's those things like just life things. You're like, okay. That is part of the puzzle. Those pieces cannot be taken. And then there are the other pieces okay, what is my workload look like right now? Where do I need to create some space? How can I create some space to take care of myself? Whether that means reading a book, whether that means meditating, whether that means my own yoga practice, whether that means talking to my therapist, there are those things too. So I think just I'm a very visual person. So just seeing kind of like the layout of my days and that coming week. And just knowing like what's important and what's not. Another thing that's more, not as logistical, but I've been practicing on feeling. And what I mean by that is kind of asking myself the question, like, how do I want to feel and basing my decision. From how I want to feel like, do I want to feel frantic and tired? Do I want to feel overwhelmed? No. What, how do I want to feel? I want to feel easeful. I want to feel calm. I want to feel present. I want to feel healthy. I want to feel rested. And those things, I tend to journal and you guys, I have not got this debt. Like I am not someone who's I journal every day at this time and I'm like, always do it perfectly. That's not me. And it's never been me. But I've tried to create. This habit like this muscle in my brain, too. When I think upon how I want to feel to write those things down, when I feel inspired. And like, when something like stirs up that emotion in me, I try to like, I leave myself like a voice note if I'm driving or try to write it down so that I can come back to that. And so that, those things consistently that support how I want to feel are there and present. And then it starts to become. A habit. I mean, we could talk for hours on habit building and breaking as a whole, like a whole nother topic. But so that's important to me and I think that's such a simple exercise. Like you literally can take a column and be like, how do I want to feel? What are the things that support how I want to feel? Yeah. And it's fun. Cause you're like, oh, well that's not that hard. And keeping it simple. Another. And again I know some of these aren't tangible because so much of the inner work, that's why it's in our work because it happens here and it happens quietly. And I think that's why it can get confusing because sometimes we mistake the inner work and it still falls under the category of doing. Have you ever been like, we'll come and be like, oh God, I know meditating will be really good for me. I have it's on my to-do list. I have to do it. And even then when the inner work becomes an obligation, when the inner work becomes a should that's when it's like red flag? No, don't just have it on your to-do lists. Get rid of the to-do list and create either a, like two, B, two B list. That's kind of like my feeling list or create a, not to do list, right. Again, that's the piece, like what can I take out? What can I take out to create space? Yeah.

Pam:

What am I going to not do? What am I going to listen to things that I'm not going to do? It is. And I have done that and I have, and things that land on my, not to my, not to do list or compromise my values. Put myself last, right? These are things that I'm not going to do that maybe habitually I have done in the past. Right. I'm going to be mindful of not doing them now and then yeah. Doing the reverse engineering. So what would

Siri:

I be doing instead?

Pam:

Right. I was, if I was not going to allow this to occur, what would I be doing instead? What would be the state I would be in what would be, how would I be spending my time? Who would I be spending my time with?

Siri:

Yup. Yup. Yeah. That's a yes. Who you're spending your time with and who you are allowing yourself to give energy to and who you're letting, who else you, who, blah, blah, blah. You are letting the energy in. Right? It's like the transference, like the energy transference is so important and that's a conversation I've had with many people over these last couple of years with COVID is We don't have time to like to maintain toxic relationships. There's no space for that anymore. There's just not. And yeah, I think that the ability to discern. D does this person add value to my life and do I add value to them? And it may not be at the same time. Right. Sometimes we need more and then sometimes we need to give more. And that's just like the pendulum of any kind of relationship or partnership. But yeah, again, it's the taking out. It's who do, who can I like send off with love and what can I say no to? Yeah.

Pam:

Being able to say no is huge. I feel like, especially, I'm just, I'm thinking about some of the stuff that you're talking about in the context of being a mom to three young children and trying to, Who is a primary, I mean, your husband's around, but like you were the primary caregiver. You're the one driving your kids to school. You're the one driving the backpack or the, you're talking about me to bring it in violin to my daughter. Right. You're the one that's doing that stuff in your household for the most part, and running businesses and trying to like make all this work. I know that from a business perspective, it's challenging enough as a mom, who's an entrepreneur, who's owning a business. Who's like doing all the things and then you add into that, right? So this just feels in my experience, it often feels like for moms in particular oh shit, this is just one more thing I have to do for the entirety of my child's or children's existence. I've been at the bottom of the list. Right. And now someone is saying to me, you need to put yourself at the top of the list. How do you balance that? How do you make that work? You're three beautiful

Siri:

little children, three beautiful little children. It's not easy. It's I mean, there's just there's no sugarcoating it, it's not easy. It's fucking hard. Yeah. It's hard. And there are some days that are like, shit, like there are days. There are days to be really honest where I am the woman who is completely. So, so happy not working and being a stay at home mom. And and then there's some days where I've really envy people who just never have children. Don't get me wrong. I love my kids. They're my greatest teacher for better, for worse, because the combination it's. Those of us that have families and have, and I'm not by any means like, like I love and praise people on all parts of the career, family, children, non children, spectrum home, work, whatever. It's all amazing. And it's, there's no recipe for everyone at all. But it's like when being a. Multi-passionate creative human and someone who always knew that I wanted to have children. So yes, I had three. Yes. I chose that. But it's oh God damn it. Whoa, okay. It's like, how do we blend those things and show up for the little people and show up for ourselves and show up for our spouse partner. It's not easy because there are sacrifices that have to be made. And I think in a culture, especially as working moms, we're told we can do it all. And they'll just that's such bullshit. Yeah, we can we do it all really well, everything, all of it. Probably not. Or at least not again, it's going to be dynamic. It's not linear. But it's challenging because we want to honor our identity. As a woman. We want to honor our identity as a partner. We want to honor our identity as a mother. We want to honor our identity as in our career path and as professionals. So I think first just acknowledging that it's not always easy and it doesn't have to look a certain way either. This is again where the seasons come in. There may be a time where your partner is more available or you have more help to help with the kids. You can dive into a creative process. So you can dive into contents, you can dive into teaching or coaching client, and then there are seasons where you're like, you know what? I'm just, I need to not stop the ball from rolling, but just say, okay, I'm just going to swing over here for a little bit. Because. I need to be more present for my children. Like we right now my son, Ben who's, our middle kid is really struggling with behavioral stuff. Like it is like I just I feel like I cry every time I talk about it. It's really hard. So he, and that, and what's going on, which we're like, we're still in a very we don't really know kind of phase like a discovery phase is requiring all of our attention and. Just saying, that's what's necessary right now. I want to be present for him. I want to. And so it's okay to just say hit the pause button and other parts of our life to say, this is where my energy needs to go right now, because I need to take care of my family and my son. And I also need to take care of myself so that I can do that right now. And we've got to let ourselves be on that. We have to allow ourselves to be dynamic and where our attention goes. Like we want to have our foundation, like our, our value foundation, our self care foundation, our energy reserves. Like those are always non-negotiables. But to be able to fluctuate a little bit in and out of what is needed it's a really important recog recognition. We don't have to be hard lined in this. Again, this is where you, and I was saying like the hustle culture no, you have to work hard every single day and put this much time into this. If you want to create anything no, cut the shit. No.

Pam:

Yeah. And in, in the, in business, as an entrepreneur, Yes. And also in, in doing our own inner work, right? You can't, there's no, like there's no let me just work harder

Siri:

in

Pam:

the unfolding of what's going on in your inner world. That's going on in your thinking and your beliefs in your emotions, in your old stories, in your patterns, or you can't like

Siri:

muscle through that? No. We all have to do the inner work, but you can't do you can't do the inner work you have to be in that was the difference.

Pam:

Totally. And I think that's part of where some of the disconnect is with people saying I want to feel better. I want to be more connected.

Siri:

I want to

Pam:

yeah. Create a successful business. I want to be able to be of service to people, but how do I get there? Because I always say, the foundation for getting there, as you need to, you just know who you are, need to do your own work so that you can like much, like you're talking about with your son and with your children, with your husband, with your business, with everything. But you're just specifically talking about with your son, like w you have to do you in order to be able to show up for. Cause how many times his parents have we been burnt out or overwhelmed or stressed about something? And then one of our kids says something and we snap at them and they were like, shit, I was not, I had nothing to do with what my child needed from me or what was going on, had totally my own shit. But when we are not aware of that, and we're not tending to that, it bubbles over becomes like the pressure cooker. Yep.

Siri:

Yeah, it does. And so this stuff that

Pam:

you're doing right now, so you're in your season currently is pause. I know that means it does not mean you're sitting around, like on the couch, eating bond ones. Babby would that be interesting? I couldn't do it anyway, but

Siri:

what does.

Pam:

How is that informing or kind of inspiring or maybe rejuvenating what is to come next to the next season, right? The work that you're

Siri:

doing with people. Yeah. That is such a great question because. It absolutely is informing what's coming. And I think it's also well, Siri, what Bell's coming, but it's okay. Not to know. And it's also not a huge mystery, like no, in my next season where I feel like I have the space to grow my businesses and connect with more people and empower more women. Like it's all happening. I might not know what it looks like, but what I do know is that the more I am able to connect back into my intuition and fuel my soul and my heart and create space for reflection and healing that I know is going to be such a gift. To everyone and everything that I serve down the road, and I think it's very it's shifting from creating an business growth and it from a distracted place, if that makes sense. To creation and growth from a really intentional, very authentic and very vulnerable place. And I think when we begin to step back into that, which essentially is meaning we're stepping just back into ourselves, we're not becoming any one else other than ourselves. Like here we are, where we are, who we are. We're always growing. We're always learning. But for people, if you are in a business where you are connecting with people, to be able to just show up as you and not anybody else with imperfections, with vulnerability, with stories. That's so it's so powerful. Because I feel. We're in this. Maybe it's been like this for a while, but it's like, how are we always surrounded by people? I mean, yes, the last two years it's been different, but how are we always like among people and feel so damn lonely? This is also another thing like the, with one of, sort of my personal state themes as the, these seasons that we have, but also this idea of like, where did our village go? Like, where did this living in community? Like we, as human beings, we are meant to live in community and everyone, I just there's so many people, I feel like I like breaks my heart. That just feel so alone. And yet. We're so far from that. And so many people are struggling with the same things, or don't know how to do the inner work or how to step, like to remember themselves because we're wired so opposite right now, but just to have the knowledge like, oh man, they're going through that too. Okay. All right. And all of our own experiences are unique, but we're not alone. Right. And I feel like that was like a really it's I don't like when that started somewhere and now it's sending somewhere else

Pam:

the whole idea. But I think the whole idea though, that you're talking about there is like that. That at some point in our history, whether it was our personal history or the history of humans, community was so important and we've become so disconnected. I think that's and part of that is you were like, you've been talking about, you have to do the work in order to be able to connect with people. And if you're not doing the work, if you don't know how to do the work, you don't know where to start doing the work then of course you're going to feel disconnected.

Siri:

Yeah. Yeah. Yup. So how the hell do you start doing the work? Any suggestions? I'm like just breathe. I just took a big deep breath. I mean, as I said, I'm a big, I can't even, there's so many different ways to do the work and everyone's going to connect with different things. For me, I'm a very visual person. I'm very kinesthetic person. So the combination of those two things are really big for me. Like writing, moving my body breathing, I think to start doing the work first, say I give my self permission to keep this simple. I give myself permission to keep this simple, because as soon as our brain goes into overwhelm mode, it goes into overdrive. We shut down and we stopped. Right? There've been so many times Pam, I'm sure that you've experienced this too, where I'm like, okay, I really got to focus on myself and then. W we just, we over-complicate it. And therefore it's Nope, this is no, this is not happening. This is too hard. So keep it simple and just, I think first it's one step at a time you say, okay, what's what's one thing I'm going to do today to maybe just not do anything. And like, when I just started my own process of committing to this inner work, I'm like, I'm going to stand outside on my porch and take 10 deep breaths. That's it. That's it. And then I would be like, okay. And then I'd be like, okay. And then now I am going to, yeah, I'm going to listen to a meditation. I'm going to find someone that I connect with that speaks to me in this moment. And I'm going to listen to one for three minutes, three, not 20, not an hour, like who has that time? Like three minutes. So, I start with one little nugget, whether it's. I'm going to take 10 conscious breaths or whether it is I'm going to listen to a meditation for three minutes or whether it is I'm going to sit down with a pen and paper, and I'm not even going to like task myself with writing something in particular. I'm just going to start writing for three minutes. Set a timer. Timers are great. Is that in time or if you need to also I think. And this, this can be challenging if people are in a real season of like depression or anxiety, and those are two things that I personally deal with. So, I would say if you've considered like therapy, doesn't work for everybody. I am a huge fan of therapy. Maybe Pam, you are fewer about a therapy practice for 20 years. So that for me works, doesn't work for everybody, but that for me works. So like I talked to ed when I was starting, I was talking to my therapist once a week. Now I talked to my therapist once a month. So there's that piece. Try to keep it fun. So that's what I meant by if, if you're in a really dark place, first of all, ask for help. That's really important too. Cause that's like serious shit and you don't want to mess with that. But if you are able and receptive. Have fun in your day. I think that's so important when we get stuck into just getting too serious or too sad or in those tough emotions. And we can we can't find the space to be silly or fun or find laughter. That to me is like an immediate, like switch and a fly I'm like, oh I all right, kids, we're going to have a five minute dance party in the kitchen right now. Yup. Your grilled cheese might burn and that's okay. But we were going to just shift the energy in the house right now. Because there are days when inner work, you may not have the space or the capacity to do it by yourself. You might not there might be a million things going on in your day. You might be with your kids all day. You might might be a million things. So just say, okay, how can I do something that, that sort of fuels my soul? That can be fun. To do with my current situation to include my kids. And that's actually really, if for all the moms out there, it is a really fun thing. Yes. We need our alone time. But again, that is not always available to all of us every day, all the time. Right. Yeah. And if we set the expectations, the

Pam:

only way that we could do the inner work, the only way that we can heal, the only way that we can feel better is if we can be alone, then we lock ourselves in the bathroom and we have kids on the outside screaming and that's, there's no peace.

Siri:

There's no paper. Right.

Pam:

And then you have to come out and diffuse the situation because you've got, how there's melting down or whatever that your specific situation is. If you can figure out a way to incorporate your kids into some of your, some of that work.

Siri:

Some of that. Cause I can't see in a box. Exactly. It is. I met like Mrs. is a practice. That's the other thing, like it is a practice. Therefore we are always practicing it and it's not like you figure oh my gosh, I just figured out how to do my inner work. Okay. Sweet. Like wrap that up and write awesome. It's a practice and it's going to look different and they are not these necessarily like these massive, huge. Events or moments or things make any quite simple and quite powerful. We just have to be patient, give ourselves permission to do it, keep it simple and be patient and find what works. And that's going to take time. That's where the patients comes in. There's so many tools. And find the few, find the handful that are the tools that work for you, and that will be different for everybody. Yep. Yeah. And there are some tools across the.

Pam:

That work. And, you said if therapy doesn't work for you, this is what I'm going to put in as a therapist, if you are listening. And you're like, yep, that's me therapy. Doesn't work for me. I'm going to ask

Siri:

you to continue to search because not all therapy is created equal.

Pam:

Right. Not all therapists are created equal. Just like the friends that you have in your life. There are plenty of people that will, that you've come across. If you're listening to this, there's plenty of people that you've come across that you're like, Nope, don't want to be friends with you. Don't care if my kid plays soccer with your kid. And there are plenty of people that immediately, when you meet them, you connect with them right away. And therapists are no

Siri:

different. So there

Pam:

is a, there is the. There's something there that if you're truly struggling with depression and anxiety or trauma and are needing support because you're in a dark place. Yeah. There's resources out there for sure. And. Just cause when therapist doesn't didn't work doesn't mean they all suck.

Siri:

No. Keep trying. Yeah, I agree. I so agree on, I'm glad you said that family, cause I'm a huge advocate for therapy and I think every human on earth should be seeing a therapist and have access to it. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, for sure. So thank you for that.

Pam:

And I was thinking too, as you were talking about this stuff about. You know the stuff we do as a parent you were saying that your kids, you're I was saying my daughter's school is 25 minutes away. You're saying your kid's school is also not close. You have a drive either direction. And so if you're a parent out there that is driving your kids to school and you get to drop, you have the ability to drop all. Yeah. I know sometimes you have littles that

Siri:

come home with us, but we are just in that phase now, but the complete drop, they all go

Pam:

using that time in the car, on your drive home to do something like listen to a podcast or find something that kind of feeds your soul. Maybe it's music, maybe it's an audio book, maybe something maybe. After you dropped your kids off, there's a parking lot that you stop in and you pull out your journal and you write for a few minutes, right? Utilizing the time that you have, even if your day is crazy and chaotic, because you're right. You can take three minutes. You can, there are plenty of afternoons that I've sat in the pickup line, which I don't know about your school. And I don't pick my daughter up every day, but sometimes I have to pick her up. And there are plenty of days that I sat in the pickup line. Cause you have to be there a month early so that you're not seven miles away from the school where, the car is in park and you're sitting on the hill waiting school. It doesn't get out for another 20 minutes. And I was just like, close my eyes and Right. You can utilize the time you have, but we're constantly like, oh, let me, put in my grocery order and let me do this thing. Let me get on social media, let me be doing the thing. But if we can learn to see first observed the time and the space that you have can be helpful for sure. Yeah. I

Siri:

agree.

Pam:

Awesome.

Siri:

Well, Siri, where

Pam:

can our listeners find you if they want to connect with you on social media? Where do they,

Siri:

where do you hang out? Where do I hang out? So I'm social media. I am, I mostly, I mean, I'm on both Facebook and Instagram. I prefer Instagram as a platform, but I mean, they're both, they both are what they are. So on Instagram, I'm Siri dot Hoffman. Siri dot Hoffman all under case on Facebook. I am Siri, Ashton Hoffman. So I made a name and then I do have a website Siri hoffman.com that It needs some love, it needs some love. It needs a little updating. I created it like in the depth of the pandemic, which was wonderful. But now it needs a little, it needs a little attention, but it's also a great place to go as well. And you can sort of learn more about me and just have access to my classes and such, but yeah. Awesome. And I will link all that

Pam:

stuff up in the show notes so people can find you. Click a button and we all love to just

Siri:

Click a button, so keep it simple. Right? Exactly. Exactly. So thank

Pam:

you so much for being here with me today. I really appreciate it. And I loved hearing your story and all the little nuggets

Siri:

that you share. That's really great to be here. I appreciate it. I'm grateful for you and guys,

Pam:

if you are listening and anything from this episode really resonated with you or you want to get in touch with Sierra or I linked up in the show notes is the way that you can tag us on Instagram. If you'd like to take a screenshot and share that you're listening or send us DMS with your favorite little nuggets, who'd love to hear from you. So thank you so much for listening. I appreciate the hell

Siri:

out of you and can't wait to see you

Pam:

again. Next week. Take care of.